This is a problem. There is no single word for a woman's genitals that can be used as comfortably as 'dick.' While there are multiple possibilities, in and out of common usage, no one of those is a very good choice (much like the 'guy' dilemma). Pussy is something you hear in pornos, twat is just an ugly word with disturbing connotations. Cunt is somewhere between the two. Vagina sounds both too medical and reminiscent of the 'now that you've become a woman' pamphlets you get during puberty. So what the hell do you call it?

It is not a good answer, because it can refer to any number of things. Same with thing. Neither is that place, because is belies a discomfort with a woman's body that most people no longer have. Names based on flowers sound ridiculous, as do other cutesy names. Too girlish. We need something free of association with extreme feminity, while not wholly gender neutral. A name common enough not to perk up ears when overheard in public, but not made up for the express purpose of having something to call.. it.

Thus, I propose jane, from the Dick and Jane books. It makes sense, it's not too sexual, and it draws a nice parallel. Women bothered by the way 'women' is based on the word 'men' may object, but something simply has to be done.

The best response I have ever seen to this often uncomfortable question comes straight from Sex and the City and a Portuguese dictionary.

The word is boceta, with a soft "c." I first ran across this term on the episode of Sex and the City where Samantha decides to have a relationship with Maria (Sonia Braga), a Brazilian artist, lesbian, and self-professed "relationship person" who finds Samantha irresistable. For the rest of the episode, Samantha delights in explaining to Carrie and company all the new things she is learning with Maria, including the Portuguese word boceta, slang for female genitalia (which is more than just the vagina).

While Samantha's on-screen relationship with Maria didn't last long, something about that word, boceta, just appealed to me. It's short enough to use easily, remains largely unknown in English-speaking countries, yet manages to sound vaguely feminine.

But this isn't the only foreign term you can use for female genitalia. In fact, switching to a foreign language helps eliminate the often negative connotations or sounds associated with English terminology (I'm not going to get into a whole Vagina Monologues discussion here, but there really aren't many good words available in English). Take your pick:

Italian

• patata
• topa
• passera
• bernarda
• sorca

Spanish

• almeja (literally, "clam")
• cajeta
• choro
• chocho
• chochita mia ("my little pussy")
• chorito
• concha (Latin American Spanish)
• zorra
• venocha
• ascona (Galician Spain)
• papo (Venezuelan)
• zanja
• boba (child's term)
• vaina (Dominican Republic)

French

• chatte (literally translates to "female cat")
• moule (literally translates to "mussel")

Japanese

• asoko (literally translates to "that place over there")
• manko, omanko (derogatory slang)

Russian

• pizda
• pizdenka

Miscellaneous

• boji (Korean)
• ihir (Arabic)
• tenki (Farsi)
• yoni (Hindi)
• umuswati (Kinyarwanda)
• squaw (Algonquin)