It's almost become a cliche.

"We live in a brave new age. The global village is getting smaller and smaller by the minute... blah blah blah blah... interactivity... blah blah blah... back to the idea that the individual can do so much now his/her hands reach across the globe... yack yack yack... etc..." so everybody's trying to get in on the action, right? Right?

So why the hell does Hostess Chips, Doritos, just about any product you can by with a label on the back decide that the best way to jump into this age of great technology and interactivity is by asking if we have any "Comments, Feedback or Questions?" about their chips, canola oil or vegetable strainers?

I mean I realize that they're trying to make the customers feel like they're an active part of their... snack creation process... but what on earth... what in the kingdom of the 4th Dimension, could I possibly have to say to Hostess chips about their product that they don't already know?

"Hey... guys... you need to... um... make your chips better... and sell more of them."

So, I was sitting there in the cafeteria with my friends. Lunchtime was upon us, and I was excited at the prospects of opening up my delicious Cosmic Brownie and feasting upon it. I tore open the cellophane wrapping and looked down. Disgust spread across my face. What did I see to change my manner thus?

NUTS.

In MY Cosmic Brownie? How could this be? How could my favorite of snack foods betray me so? I snatched up the packaging and searched for the telephone number of the Little Debbie company. Finding it, I rushed to the school office and requested the use of the telephone.

"Is it important?"
"Oh yes."
I called up Little Debbie and informed them of this... travesty.

"Alright. I'll need your address. We'll send you a check for the brownie."
"Thank you very much. Have a nice day!"
\ "Wait! One more thing."
"What?"
"We also need the serial number of the brownie from the package."
"Why?
"Well, if the rest of that batch of brownies was also tainted, we'll need to put out a recall on them."

And I rest a little easier, knowing that I have saved countless others from the horror of opening up a delicious Cosmic Brownie only to find a.... perversion of a magnificent snack treat.

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