So you want flat, straight, and generally gorgeous, easy-to-manage locks. Unless you're born with a lucky gene where your hair hangs straight like a curtain, you probably flat iron your hair pretty often. Personally, I have long dark hair that reaches past my waist, but it's wavy and annoying to the point that I want to pull a Britney Spears. If you have hair like this, often straightening it out is a bit of a challenge. Below are all experiences that I have learnt myself.
Straighten with an iPod earphone in your ear:
So you're getting ready for a party. Good looking people of the opposite sex are going to be there, so you want to make sure you look your best. You dance around your room while your flat-iron heats up, with your good, trusty iPod earphones in your ears. The flashing light on your straightening tool stops, and you know it's ready to go. So you pick it up, and start on your unruly mess of locks, with the Far East Movement blasting in your ears. Suddenly, the music cuts off, and an odd plastic smell reaches your nose. You look down and-
Fuck. There goes my $40 earphones.
It's probably easier to make that mistake when you have dark hair, and your black earphones like to play ninja and camouflage in their surroundings. Same goes for blondes and white earphones. And red-heads and…red earphones. So, yes, that is the first mistake you shouldn't make when straightening your hair, unless you like… burnt, sticky plastic and wasted money.
Straighten your hair naked (or only in panties):
You have an important meeting to get to. Or you have to get to uni, or school. Whatever. You still haven't decided on clothes yet, so you stand in black panties and the bare essentials. You still need to fix your hair, so you heat up the flat-iron while you remember that you should draw the blinds.
You sit at your dresser with your flat iron in hand, and your hair drapes over your chest, making you look like a mermaid. You think you look pretty hot like that, and as you take a section and glide the straightener through it, you think-
HOLY FUC- OWWW!
You might want to put on a damn pair.
This has happened to me a fair few times. Straightening naked is never a good idea, because you tend to forget that your hair is about 200 degrees hotter than it should be. When you let go of that section, and it collides with your chest- Oww. It burns. Especially if you're a girl. To prevent this problem, just put on a goddamn shirt.
Straighten wet, wet, wet hair.
You just got out of the shower. Towel wrapped around your body, hair hanging limp against your back. You lock the door behind you as you move into your room, and dress quickly. You decide that you don't want a poofy mess of hair today, so again, you get out that flat-iron. Blow drying is a drag, and it often makes hair even poofier than what it naturally, so you opt for skipping the 'drying hair' step altogether. You methodically comb through your hair, and separate a section to begin with. As you lift the hot iron, you think idly of what you should do today, and then-
….I don't think that's MEANT to happen.
When the experts say dry before straightening, it's a good idea to listen. Other than frying your hair, and making it all dry and damaged, if you're not aware of what you're doing, the loud HISS noise you always get will make you freak out and think that your hair is melting. So, make sure it's dry, or at least semi-dry before reaching for that magic wand.
I have also been told that straightening your pubes is never a good idea.