My friend, the resident Macguyver smoker in our group of heads, managed to turn an ordinary watermelon into a fine instrument for the smokage of Tobacco and/or Legal Herbs.

Tools for the job

  • A watermelon
  • 2 bic pens
  • Surgical Tubing
  • a cylindrical piece of plastic (thin pvc was used, but is not recommended as it can cause badness to your lungs.)
  • An actual pot, kinda big, but thin enough so the watermelon can fit around it.
  • A bowl piece of some sort, preferably one that's wide enough for the proper coals.
  • A knife, big one
  • Silly Putty (if no silly putty is availible, chewing gum will work)
  • A big spoon, ladel or other utensil for maximum scoopage

The first step is to cut the end off of the watermelon. It should be cut so that the watermelon rind can fit around the metal pot, so where to cut it will vary dependent on pot size. Now scoop out all the melon from inside the watermelon. You should try to scoop the melon out so that only the rind is remaining, as it is useless attached there. All the melon goes straight into the pot. The pot should be stirred once the melon is empty, so it's as close to a liquid as possible. Next, a hole should be cut from the top of the melon, just big enough for the PVC piping to be slid down through into the liquid watermelon inside the pot. There should be space between this piping and the bottom of the bowl. Attach the bowl piece to the top of the PVC, this could be tricky, but it doesn't have to be, it all depends on the size of the bowl. Punch out two holes in the rind, near the top of the melon rind, using the bic pens. Next, attach long pieces of surgical tubing to said pens, to allow for users are not in kissing distance to said melon. Place rind over the pot, inserting the big tube into the watermelon mush in the pot and voila, the Wouka (Watermelon Houka).

This works nicely, for it cheats a little bit and doesn't use just the watermelon for the smoking implement. When this was origionally created, July 4th, 2001, four hoses and pens were attached, but this didn't work well enough, too much suck, not enough smoke. This should work fine with two pens although it has never been tested. An actual houka or agilla bowl piece would probably work best, but one made in pottery class or a glass slide would work too. The silly putty/chewing gum should be used to make airtight seals around the holes for the pens and other tubing if needed.

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