Wal-Mart Scavenger Hunt
: An excellent game to play if you're a plastered Xavier University freshman
(Or, Just Another Reason I Dropped Out to be a Lush and Work at the Omni Netherlands Plaza
1. Grab all your friends and go to your friend Phil's house. You know Phil-he's the cool sophomore who lives two blocks off campus and seems to have a neverending supply of cheap beer and pot. Be sure to bring a slightly larger number of female friends, so Phil will be extra generous with the booze.
2. Proceed to get plastered. Real plastered. 'Cause Wal-Mart Scavenger Hunts suck if you aren't extremely fucked up.
3. Get Jessie the Prude to pile everyone in her minivan and drive to the nearest 24 hour Walmart. Make sure Bongo Mike the Lush sits near an open window.
4. Arrive at corporate American hell. Greet the greeter warmly, drunk coed style.
5. Split into two groups. Each group should run all over Wal-Mart terrorizing everything and everyone they come into contact with.
6. Find the most obscure object you've ever seen. Something even weirder than the things you find in Grandma's medicine cabinet.
7. Bring said object back to the entrance. Each group trades their thingamajiggy.
8. Now scramble all over the store trying to find ANOTHER one of those crazy doohickeys. Find it and be the first group back at the entrance with two Magical Mystery Objects, and you've won free beer from the loser group!
My God, higher education is strange...