A great friend of mine once told
me to drop what I was doing and jump into his car. Andrew’s life was anything but passive. Control, desire, and life resonated in his
energy. He knew nothing of selfish
actions and made his life mean more to his friends and family than it meant to
himself. He gave carelessly and criticized
mercilessly. If your image was anything
less than enviable, he let you know. And
most of all, Andrew was a dreamer. He dreamed
of a better now and greater tomorrows.
Plans he made for himself and the people in his life were great and
nearly unreachable, but piece by piece, he started to draw them together, until
a week ago. Andrew was killed in an
explosion during a military operation in Iraq.
It’s funny how a lifetime can suddenly
pass you by. In an instant you’re propelled
from the womb into the fires of hell we have come to call life. Take a chance, or don’t. It’s your choice, live it how you want. But by God, make a choice. With endless possibilities, playing of the
game is more important than the result.
There is no winning, no losing, only the consequences. Maybe it’s the opportunities that hinder or
help to define ourselves. But would you
partake in a life of bounded dreams?
Why do we sell ourselves short
when the “consequences” of success are so glorified? An attempt at the unknown ends in
one of two ways: the top of the world or
a bottomless pit of heartbreak and denial.
The hardest working muscle in our body becomes the most fragile in times
of defeat. It’s a mentality thing and
sometimes I wonder if I have what it takes.
It's human nature to question ourselves, right? So here I sit
at the computer screen, writing yet another eulogy (note the
sarcasm) to my daily routine. Maybe I’ll go back to
bed and make everything better with time.
But even now, Rome
is burning, and here I lay in apathy. Confusion
drives the night. Even a clear
conscience cannot silence the endless conversation inside. I feel but know not what it means to
feel. I think I understand but know nothing. I love, but will never know the meaning. It’s a faceless world, yet day by day we
stare it nose to nose.
Too many times, I look outside to see floating grey skies,
wind howling and rain spitting on the gravel. The morning awoke to the bickering of gulls
over hocks of bread left out in the morning to rot. Before, that would trouble me, but it’s all
smiles on the inside because somewhere out there, this world is spinning. So I happily await the morning. Tomorrow, the sun may shine.
Thank you for your life, you’ve shaped mine.