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Things I learned in one week of college
(
idea
)
by
f1r3br4nd
Fri Sep 08 2000 at 1:36:23
Make sure you are interested in a career that requires college in the first place. If you're not going into a the 'professions' or into academia, you might not need college.
Consider going to a two-year community college and then transferring to a 'name'
university
. You'll be glad you didn't max out your student loans later.
That being said, loans are still a better deal than work-study. The math is simple-- today the most you'll make as a work-study is, say, $8/hour. How much will you be making after college? So borrow the money now and pay it off later, when you're better paid.
Don't
drop out
, especially if you're on
financial aid
.
On a related note, don't be
lazy
about paperwork.
If you were misunderstood in
high school
, things will get a little better, but don't expect to have lots of
intellectual peers
with similar interests and
politics
.
Don't waste time on
sports
and
student government
. You won't get graded on it (unless of course you're preparing to be a
pro-athlete
or
politician
, in which case
go fuck yourself
).
The greek system might be an archaic throwback of a
bourgeois
,
sexist
past... but they do get
laid
more often, and they do
party
, and they do form valuable connections with lots of
rich bastards
. So if you don't rush make sure it's because
you
don't want to, not your
politically correct
guilt complex.
Make friends with some
profs
in your field early on, and make sure you stay in touch. School is more than just grades-- you'll need sponsorship from them for undergrad research, and recommendations for
grad school
.
Do some undergrad
research
, but don't get too hung up on doing it in precisely your sub-field. What's more important is a
lab
where people are patient with undergrads and where you will learn a lot about your overall profession.
Don't get too hung up on what the other
gender
thinks of you. There are two things that can happen--
unrequited love
, which will derail your academic career due to
depression
, and
requited love
which will derail your academic career due to distraction. The latter is usually followed by
messy breakup
which will finish off your academic career again due to depression. So just say the hell with them-- why wait to be disillusioned? Learn from others' mistakes.
Avoid computer games like the plague, especially
Civilization
.
The best part time job you can possibly have is a computer site consultant on the night shift. Second best is night library monitor. Third best is hotel night desk clerk. Fourth best is security guard. The common theme here is
night shift
, dig? Not much happens at night. Plenty of time for
homework
.
If you are in need of medical, or psychological, or psychiatric help, don't fuck around, don't go into denial-- go and get your problem dealt with by a professional. You don't want to get ill or suffer a nervous breakdown in the middle of exam season.
Start planning for the
GRE
s early. Be the one who walks in fully prepared and cool as a cucumber. Yes, btw, you can study for GREs. Buy a
Princeton Review
book (don't waste money on their courses, though, and definitely don't waste money on
Kaplan
materials).
Every town has obscenely cheap living arrangements, if you investigate the matter (and are willing to accept some lifestyle adjustments). Dorms are
never
the cheapest alternative, and they suck for studying too.
...much, much more to come.
printable version
chaos
Just Another Night at the Frat House
Student government isn't a democracy
GRE
Things to take to university
Stoner Culture
unrequited love
We knew there would be kissing, and breasts
Crying in American college males
Kaplan
l33t
What I've Learned
Go fuck yourself
College is to porn as marriage is to love
Civilization
Mosaic
Community college
I was a College Jeopardy! champion, Part 2
San Francisco State University
Princeton Review
Machete
Escaping the Monotony of Daily Life in a Fishbowl
Animaniacs
Ca$h For Book$
Student Government Association
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