Gods I'm tired.

I haven't been sleeping at all well, and there's just so much to do.

Today I took my mum to my brother's house and met the guys he shared with, and about 15 people from the church he'd been going to.

We had a BBQ, and I collected his mail, and looked at his bedroom.

There's so much stuff.
Party invitations. Books. CDs. Clothes. A TV. A bed. A couple of unnamed, unlabled videos in a draw. Camping gear...

There's a whole life there in that one little room.

The idea of sorting it all out is very daunting.

That's for tomorow.

And so is meeting my dad for the first time in 8 years.

That is more than daunting.

It's bloody scary.

Anyway, tomorrow: meet my father, check whether he wants anything about the funeral changed, try to get some money out of him, and get my brother's belongings from his house.

And I should phone the people who invited him to their wedding next week...

I don't know what happens with bank accounts, or superannuation, or the life insurance.
Well, I guess the life insurance is void, since it was suicide, but...

Who do I have to notify first?

Have I got the authority to arrange anything, really?

Crap this is hard.

There should be a course or something. "How to arrange a funeral while grieving, and what comes after" or... I don't know.

But there should be *something*

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