In college I had a good friend named Rob who was from Delaware. Rob was a good old boy who really got into his whole redneck schtick. He had a redneck beard, redneck haircut, redneck clothes, and of course, a beat up 1978 baby blue Ford pick up truck. As it happened, the only thing he had which didn't display his redneck pride was his roommate. His roommate was a flaming queer.

You see, our school spent a great deal of time in trying to match people with similar interests together as roommates in the freshman dorm. They normally did an excellent job of this. Hell, they actually did an excellent job of this with Rob. Not that Rob was a closet homosexual using his manly redneck persona to hide his limp wrists, not at all. You see, Rob the manly redneck and his roomie Evan, the flaming queer, roomed together for one simple reason, Rob's father is one sick fuck.

It seems that Rob's Dad, Jack, got hold of Rob's roommate questionnaire before Rob ever knew about it. Well, Jack got good and liquored up one night and proceeded to fill out the form in ways that he thought would be funny. The result being that Rob, the macho redneck, ended up rooming with Evan, the effeminate flaming queer.

Things turned out all right though. It seems that opposites do indeed attract. Evan and Rob became good friends, for Evan had a bit of redneck in him and Rob had a bit of art fag percolating beneath his gruff redneck exterior. They became so comfortable around each other that they began to harass each other in that odd, male bonding kind of way; calling each other things like "redneck sheep fucker" and "limp wristed cock sucker" respectively. But deep down, they had respect for each other's common country roots.

So one day I'm sitting on the campus lawn with Rob smoking a doobie. It was a fine spring day, warm in the sun, cool in the breeze. We were sitting there checking out the ladies when this huge pale blue Chevrolet truck pulls up to the nearby stop light. Rob immediately recognizes the driver as Evan. His face goes all flush as his pot soaked mind contemplates a witty remark.

He yells out to Evan at the top of his lungs, "What kind of self respecting redneck would drive a piece of shit truck like that?!"
Without missing a beat, Evan leans out the truck window, his ass wiggling in the air, "The kind of redneck that likes to get fucked in the ass!!"

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