there were children walking down the lane
"there are clowns in town!" i heard them say
so i stepped right up without delay
and followed them (ran all the way!)

it was early morning, half past eight
when i started to hallucinate
should have slowed down but couldn't wait
to see them juggle pins and plates

i saw dwarves and trolls and ogres too
little elf-men stirring stew
a giant walked by with what looked like you
and fish were walking to the zoo

a thousand pipers and a single rat
rode on an elephant with a black top-hat
who suddenly stopped when a burning cat
pointed at us saying "will you look at that?!"

i stopped and stared; didn't know what to do
i shut my eyes; i was turning blue
my ears were bleeding; my nose was too
so i recited all the things i knew:

"i know that morning turns to day
and needles hide themselves in hay;
that crime and evil never pay
and that wills forever find their way

all these lessons i have known
look both ways, don't walk alone
eat the meat but not the bone
and don't speak back with an angry tone"

i learned these things so easily
i'd never asked if they should be
thought out a little more carefully
as they didn't seem to apply to me

i opened my eyes and looked around
the sun was shining and i found
my shadow lie there on the ground
so everything seemed safe and sound

but to my very great surprise
a man walked by with snakes for eyes
screaming "all those things are lies!"
and suddenly i didn't feel so wise

"when in rome" i yelled with a hiss
swung at the bastard but tried to miss,
stood on my head and took a piss
"i never thought it would be like this..."

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