Tom Weller's fourth and last book, The Book of Stupid Questions is, I am sorry to say, the point at which Mr. Weller Jumped The Shark. It lacks his simple yet powerful illustrations and also lacks the elbow room to allow him to exercise his bizarre intellect. I'm guessing that it was more his publisher's idea than his own.

The Book of Stupid Questions by Tom Weller PS.D. (Doctor of Pseudophilosophy). Copyright 1988, Warner Books Inc.
ISBN 0-446-38972-2
LOC : PN6231.C46W44
113 questions, 36 answers, 116 pages.

To Socrates, the first man to discover the hazards of asking too many questions.
  • #1 If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you have lunch or go to a movie.
  • #8 If you knew that by pondering ridiculously artificial pseudo-philosophical questions you could avoid dealing with real-world decisions, would you do it?
  • #33 What has been the biggest disappointment in your life, other than buying this book?
  • #36 You are on a Greyhound bus traveling across rural Texas at the height of summer. An attractive stranger sits down next to you and you fall into a pleasant, witty conversation. Unexpectedly, the person offers you $10,000.00 to go back to the restroom and have sex. Would you accept a third party check? How about out of state?
  • #50 Would you be willing to move to a distant country and never return home if you knew that people there would consider your accent cute?
  • #78 Would you take an all-expense-paid trip around the world if it were non-stop?
  • #89 Would you be willing to have your fingernails pulled out if you knew that it meant that John Cougar Mellencamp would never make another record?
  • #113 Would you be willing to write a cruel parody of a sincere, heartfelt book that had brought comfort and innocent pleasure to millions, just to make a lot of money?
If you are stumped, a list of answers is supplied. These answers do not correspond to any particular question; pick your answer at random, or glue this list to you Ouija board. Some of the supplied answers include:
  • Yes
  • No
  • Yes, sir!
  • No, thank you
  • Maybe
  • 1492
  • All of the above
  • Ask your father
  • Only when I laugh
  • The doctor was his mother
  • R-o-l-a-i-d-s
  • Because
  • Because I said so
  • Because it's there
  • I have no recollection of that at this time, Senator
  • A boojum, you see

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