Having lived next to Alton Towers for all of my life and having worked there for three years I have often been asked about the place (but only by Brits because no one else has heard of it). As such I have decided to use everything to give small pieces of my knowledge and experiences of this wonderful place!! I hope you enjoy them.

Keep reading this as it will get updated....

The first thing that people say to me when I tell them where I live is something like "wow! that must be so cool!!" and I always reply "yeah, I suppose so" because, although I get to go there three or four times a season, there is a downside to it. I am now spoilt - I have been to American Adventure, Pleasure Beach, Drayton Manor park, Disney World and Unversal Studios, Florida and I know that I draw less enjoyment out of these places than other people. Another point is that It takes most people two days to go around Alton Towers but it only takes us half a day. We know what rides we like and how to avoid the queues so we can be finished by noon.
Saying that, we have managed to formulate 'alternative' ways of enjoying ourselves in the park:

  • There is the old cardboard box at christmas syndrome - where, as children, we used to ignore the rides and spend most of the day playing hide and seek around the castle ruins.
  • We have learnt the exact location of every ride camera and so go on the ride just to create amusing pictures including:
    • Everybody asleep
    • Everybody scared to the extreme
    • Everybody facing the opposite direction
    • And the most recent, pulling moonies at the top of the log flume
  • Going on the swan ride (a very slow kiddies ride on the lake) and having team water fights from adjacent swans
  • Going on the farm boat ride (a boat that circles an island populated by live rabbits) just to try to catch one of the rabbits. - It should be noted that the rabbits have been recently removed from the island ;)
  • And the last one that I can remember: Go on the farm boat again but half way around you are hidden from view by the height of the island. It is possible to jump off the boat, over the wall and then walk round to get on the ride again. This is done just to see the extremely confused face of the ride operator
Oh, one last thing before I post this node - Dotted around the park are trolleys selling various things. One of these trolleys sells Cadbury's chocolate and is in the shape of a train driven by Mr Cadbury's Parrot (who has a trademark loud and annoying squawk). now, what is not known by many is that there is a button at the front of the train which, if kicked, makes Mr Cadbury's Parrot squawk. This fact is kept very quiet by the people who work with the train because they know that once one person has pressed that button a cascade effect is created. Every child in earshot would want to press that button making the next children to come along want to press it too. Before you know it the parrot is sqawking constantly and will do so for the rest of the day.
I find pressing that button amusing, maybe I'm evil. Or maybe I was jealous at the easy job that the people in the merchandise sector had compared to my life in catering. I may be nasty and vicious - but to this day the pictures of those workers' faces as I approach the button, the looks of sheer horror make me chuckle out loud.

muhahahaha

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