Luna City Lunatic - May 12, 2263 (Tourism/Fresh Fish Section)
TANSTAAFL: Air Doesn't Grow On Trees (on Luna)
You wouldn't happen to be a new groundhog, enjoying the wonderful sights
on our Old Home Luna, would you? Perhaps you're a transportee from one of the
many corporations based here. Or, maybe, you've always been in love with Luna
since you were a child and finally decided to move here. Whatever your situation,
did you pay for your air? Did you? Count your crowns, inspect your passport,
check your arm... if you don't have a chop saying you've paid for your air, beware!
TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch) is more than just our
humble slogan here on Luna Free State. Oh, no, it's a way of life. Your food
you must pay for, just like you do down dirtside. Your clothes aren't cheap,
in some cases more expensive than back on Earth. The air you breathe? Precious!
Your lungs might work plenty to draw breath, but we have tons of diagrams to
prove that our air processing filters work a lot harder- not to dismiss
your capacity to breathe, it's just plain physics.
In Luna City alone there are over three hundred mid-to-industrial-sized air
processors that work 'round the clock to insure that you have oxygen to breathe.
These monsters take power, water, carbon dioxide, heat... all the conventional
requirements necessary to create breathable air for everyone within the dome.
The cost of these valuable resources is immense and simply can't be paid for
by the local government alone. Therefore, we ask that everyone who enters the
habitat pay a nominal fee, a mere sixty crowns per quarter. If you can't afford
it, we have one suggestion that you may wish to consider: hold your breath.
This is not meant to scare you, honest. Actually, it's meant to welcome you!
Indeed! Old Earth had a saying: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. You are now
in Luna Free State, it's time to be a Loonie, lock, stock and two smoking
barrels. Concerned with costs? Don't be! Plenty of work on Luna, plenty- and handsomely
paid, too. Sixty crowns is nothing, a dent really, compared to the earnings you
can make here in a single day. Why, Luna is the true land of opportunity!
Air is only a small luxury when faced with the immeasurable experience of actually
being a Loonie, even if only for a short while.
But mind your P's and Q's, sir or madam, mind them carefully. A careless
Loonie is a forgotten Loonie, if you get our meaning. We want you to be here a
long, happy while! In every domicile is a basic survival guide and handbook.
Consult it! "Learn it; love it; live it," to quote a wise man.
In the meantime, though, pay for your air. When you're certain that you've
earned it, it'll taste that much sweeter!