In the United States
, the plains of suburbia
are littered with symmetrical, hive-like
housing developments, where everyones home is identical. In a good number of these housing
developments, committies enforce rules on what the owners of homes in these developments
can and cannot do, generally speaking in an effort to keep property values
a common phenomenon
of these committies is that the people on it abuse their power for
whatever reason, be it to justify their own existance
, they have
, or they merely enjoy having power
over what other people can and cannot do
with their own property.
It goes from the sane, "Well, I guess thats okay..." rules, to the rules which for
would have proclaimed, "'for his own good' is an argument which will
eventually lead a man to agree to his own destruction."
Let us observe the gradual desent into the rules of the Suburbinazi.
- You may not paint your house any color other than a shade of [Grey]
- Your Mailbox must look like everyone elses. You may not make any modifications to your
- Your fence must be painted white, and it must have the same pattern as everyone elses. You
may not use a chainlink fence.
- You must maintain your yard, and keep your grass at 5/8ths of an inch long. Failure to do
so will incur the wrath of the housing committee
- You may not place lawn furniture in your lawn.
- You may not use any 'water toys' such as a 'slip and slide' on your lawn, this promotes
- You may not place a basketball hoop upon the roof of your garage. This drives down
property values by making your home look ugly.
- You may not place Satellite recievers upon your roof. Any attempts to bring any form
of joy into your life by placing objects upon your roof will incur the wrath
of the housing committee.
- You may not have wind chimes hanging from any part of your house. Any questioning of
this rule is grounds for the wrath of the housing committee
- You may not have pets of any kind. Espically Ferrets. Ferrets are easily destracted and
have no cares in the world. The Housing Committee does not wish anyone to have pets that
we cannot instill fear in.