I'm out at a club one night in Glasgow, a little bit tired so I'm standing up against a wall with my drink in my hand. I'm watching my friends dance about.

Some guy comes over and says to me
"I'm looking for some E"
"Aren't we all" whilst thinking 'Why the fuck tell me?'
"You selling tonight?"
"Not tonight, not any night in fact."
"Any coke then?"
"Listen, mate, no offense, but why ask me? I don't sell anything and I don't know you."
"I thought you were a dealer in here"
"What the fuck makes you think that?"
"You look like one." and he wanders off

Well screw that, how the hell do you look like a dealer? Unless you set up a damn market stall in the club.

Still standing there, bemused a while later and some other guy comes over

"Got any pills, mate?" he shouts in my ear.
"What makes you ask that, pal?"
"Oh sorry, I thought you were punting in here"
"Tell you what mate, I've nothing on me myself, but go wait in the toilets and I'll send one of the boys in to sort you out with something"
"Cheers man." and he departs for the toilet.

From where I was standing I had a clear view of the toilets. It took yer man around half an hour to figure out he was wasting his time.

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