This is a story
I just have to relate
to you all here; I found it far to funny
to keep to myself; told to me by a guy called Stuart...
He was in Staines
doing his Christmas shopping
, and hating it. Walking along head down, he catches his foot in the pavement
and sprawls headlong..."Fuck" he says, and watches the passers-by for a second or two..
When "Arrrgh!" he catches a glimpse of large hairy
shape coming for him! It sinks it's teeth
into his shoulder, near his neck
, and with a "Yaarrwwllfucker!", Stuart grabs it by the head, rolls, and with a judo like throw hurls it from him. He hears it cry
; well actually kind of a 'screaming neigh
'....it's a fucking Shetland pony
He's flat on his back in Staines, and he's been attacked
by some women's pet Shetland pony, which he's thrown across a crowded pavement
in full view of hundreds of onlookers. The owner then starts to go at him with her umbrella
screaming full volume like a dervish
, 'cos he's actually really hurt the poor animal
All-in Shetland pony wrestling
in Staines, does that send the bizarre-o-tron
clean off the scale, or what?