Perhaps the most comically entertaining pornographic film I have ever had the pleasure to see. Before you click downvote, consider the amusing commentary I am about to make in the synopsis of this film.
First of all, you know it's going to be bad when you hear it's on Cinemax (or for our sake, Skinemax). I live with my parents. I am a rising senior in high school unfortunately. I am female. Pornography does not slip into my hands very often, and when it does, it just happens to be very soft core like this. The annoying thing about this was the alternating use of the mute button every five minutes. I wanted to hear the horrifyingly bad dialogue, but not the moans and groans of Karla's wet cunt being penetrated by Mike.
Okay, we've all seen Porky's and we unfortunately all know what happens when you get thirty-something year olds to play the parts of high school and college-age kids. You get this movie.
Six college friends plus one's spouse get together on the weekend at a posh Santa Barbara mansion for a reunion. The beginning of the movie seemed like a typical porno or a really bad episode of 7th Heaven where Mr. & Mrs. Camden make out. Lots of prepubescent-type foreplay ensures. People kissing, rubbing someone's neck, basic not-even-first-base kind of action that you never want to see in pornography unless you're actually watching it for the plot.
Well things get a little saucy as everyone shows up. We are introduced to the main, and only characters of the movie. In a way, it was like The Haunting, only without the acclaim of Liam Neeson and with a lot more, yet seemingly not enough sex. Seven people are staying, three are couples, married or engaged, and the other was recently divorced. Six of them were friends in school. The three guys lusted after the divorcee.
My moment of meeting Mike, the guy married to Celinda (or Jennie.. at this point you can't really remember any of the
girls' names because it makes very little difference), who pretty much is like the shy, new girl from The Faculty, was
the climax of the movie-watching activity. Mike, strangely enough, looked like the boy I walked with down the aisle during my work as a junior marshall at graduation, a boy in my old chemistry class. From this point on, Mike is a special character to me.
The gang is shown together for the first time at dinner that evening. They are playing truth or dare at the table. Faculty woman choses truth, which she is asked to tell about the most dangerous place she has made love. She tells the most outrageous story.
She is a second-grade teacher taking her class on a field trip on a nature walk. Her husband, Mike, shows up and he wisks her away a couple hundred yards from the children. They plan to have sex. The entire thing is being regarded as very risque. Right. That's why they talk off every little bit of clothing they own, lay down a blanket, and screw in every imaginable position known by man as the camera pans from position to position in slow motion as dreamy classical music plays in the background trying to stir up some sort of drama. What drama? They're fucking for God's sake!
This is the most lucrative sex that occurs in the movie.
The next scene boggles the mind. There is actually a two-minute long non-dialogue scene showing the three guys in the kitchen washing dishes while dancing around to upbeat contempo jazz as the camera occasionally focuses in on the dishes being washed. I'm still thinking that maybe the close-up of the pan being scrubbed is symbolic of something else, but we'll get back to that later.
Back to truth or dare in the living room. Faculty girl comes up with a real "imaginative" dare. Divorcee girl is blindfolded and must kiss all the guys in the room and tell who was who. Very risque and erotic dare! Watch out, De Sade! All sorts of annoying drama unfolds here as it is revealed to the women that the divorcee has had some history with their husbands determined by the length of the kiss. Yes, right. And we care beause?
There is a long fishing scene. Nothing is accomplished by this. Although at this point in the movie, I was considering another point. They seem to have so many kinky sex stories. Why are they fishing?
Then something happens involving them all changing spouses for the evening and having dates. The dates were all inside the house and involved washing dishes. I think maybe this movie was sponsored by IKEA or something they way they keep bringing up dishes. Well, just to prove how utterly insipid this movie really was, I fell asleep around here.
Sorry if I ruined the "plot" for you all.
Update: I finally saw the end of this movie. The "dates" led to plenty of sex. The second time seeing this movie, I recognized how awkward the transition
from no sex
to sex was. Consoling a male friend
after his girlfriend has dumped him? Yes, kissing him will get him hard
. He'll be all over you
! One kiss
.. very small.. led to removing every article of clothing and immediately engaging in sexual intercourse. Because you know how guys who have just been dumped love to have lots of sex
I don't know if it's just some sort of skill I will acquire after graduating college or what, but it seemed like these people had no class and were just asking to jeopardize their friendships with sexual tension. The dishwashing couple? Had sex on the kitchen counter. Karla and Curt? All over each other in the bedroom. Why?