I had a nice husband. He loved me and he loved our children. He did everything he could to take care of us. Unfortunately, however, he needed a mother more than he needed a wife.

I married Jonas because something deep my early life made me afraid of sex. He did not threaten me with active sex. When we our first child was born my fear disappeared and I became a bed of fire. Jonas had no trouble performing the sex act. He could get it up and put it in weekly. Afterward, he would turn around and go to sleep while I lay burning with the fire he started.

I tried several ways to keep him active, none of which worked. So I turned to other men. I found a taker right away. He was a college professor was married and had two children. When we played rubber bridge with him and his wife, I often found two pairs of feet caressing mine under the bridge table.

I knew adultery was wrong, but I did not think it was very wrong. I had heard my mother, who was a public health nurse visiting many poverty homes to give service, say, “There are sins worse than adultery.” I was prepared to sin, but I did not know how to light the burner.

Jonas and I had started to build our house and Jack came out to help us. I was best friend to his wife and I became very fond of his children. I saw them often because they often came out to play around the building site while their father was helping with the house.

One time when I knew Fran was going to be away from home at a meeting, I had an invitation by a gesture from Jack to come over while she was gone. I timed it well. I waited until he had time to get the children in bed. I left my car around the corner so the neighbors would not know I was there, and slipped into the house without knocking. He was expecting me and took me straight into his bedroom. He had skills at making love that I had never experienced, but he did not waste much time using them. I had my first orgasm almost immediately.

I left right away, warning him that the bed was wet. He said he would take care of that and I was on my way back to the car. My mind was so tangled with emotions and the need for secrecy that I did not do much thinking for a day or two. Then when I was driving along on a country road a feeling rushed over me. With no room for doubt, I knew that I loved Jonas! The exhilaration overwhelmed me, shooting me up to the clouds and back to my heart again. I had no idea that love could be so incredibly shining and so wonderful!

The next day that Jack brought his children out as usual and was working with Jonas on the house, a small incident turned my life around. Suddenly with no apparent reason, Jack’s five year old son came up to me and raised his arms for me to pick him up. I did. He kissed me, one big, far kiss right on my face. I thanked him, put him down and watched him run on to play.

What did I think I was doing? Jack had two children that were his responsibility to raise. I knew that divorce was wrong because my parents had been divorced leaving me with a miserable childhood. I knew now also why adultery is wrong and for ten long years I lived with an irresistible force meeting an immovable object. I had to be with Jack but I could not possibly continue a sexual relationship with him.

I knew when he died. Jonas and I were out on a sailboat weekend. I was sleeping on the deck, which was my custom. I was awakened by a strong emotional rush. I envisioned a hospital room. I thought the emotion was coming from Jack. “Jack, I love you!” I shouted without making a noise. Things went back to being peaceful and I went back to sleep, thinking it must have been a dream. Later I learned that Jack died from a brain tumor at that exact moment. p>

This series begins with Scream of the Butterfly.

Next: Scream of the Butterfly 4.

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