take a deep breath and make your decision, because after tonight there's no going back. this is the crossroads, the moment that determines everything. so you choose.. responsibility or necessity? common sense or rebellion? and you agree, silently, to live with the choice.

if you were lying in your bed, a good citizen, your heart wouldn't be beating like this, your breathing wouldn't be quick and shallow, waiting to know that safety is imminent. there's a voice in your head that doesn't speak in words, but 'why, why, why?' runs up and down your spinal column. you feel invincible, but only because it's too late. you've thrown away the cloak of consent that protected you, and without it you become a non-person. what happens to you now doesn't matter. at some point, you may be safe again, but you won't know until you get there.

this is how it feels to make conscious and potentially fatal mistakes on purpose.

when i as a little girl, i ran across the freeway. i tore my pants climbing the fence, slicing my knee, and when i rolled down the hill on the other side, i was shaking. and something changed, and never changed back.