Regret is
Watching someone you played
Princess with and endless games of
Lucky Bastard
Buying
tutti-frutti flavored condoms for
A boy who has already decided that
They won’t work.
Not that you knew, of course,
And she didn’t either.
Though something might have hinted
In his voice, or in pauses between the
Static of a
Mexican telephone.
But she was happy,
And you were too-
She because it was a
silly offering
And you because,
After years of separation,
You were again in on the game.
You had the
paper crown.
And two weeks later,
Casually asking:
How are you? And how is he?
You were confident as one
Princess to another.
There was no static crackle in her pause before
He wants to be friends.
And because
junior high had come between
You and Her,
And you never really knew what you thought you did,
You could not span the gorge,
Say something honest.
That bastard.
So you stood on your side and shouted
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
Your voice carried
Up the wind
And lost as if you never said
Anything at all.