(person) by Archetype Wed May 03 2000 at 6:56:30
  • Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
  • Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matching screwdrivers for their birthday.
  • Real Engineers wear moustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because they're lazy.
  • Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
  • Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
  • Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own shirt size.
  • Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
  • Real Engineers say "It's 77 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 Kelvin," and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day."
  • Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
  • Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car."
  • Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
  • Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
  • Real Engineers rotate their tyres for laughs.
  • Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.
  • Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of "Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
  • Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.
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