Presidents & Assholes

A drinking card game for 4 or more players

Required Equipment: One standard deck of cards for every four players or so, alcoholic beverages

Objects of the Game: Presidents & Assholes is best played with a large group of people. Aces are high; Deuces are special "clear" cards.

Game Play (Initial Round): All cards from the deck(s) are dealt out as evenly as possible to each player. An extra card for some players is no big deal. Someone should be designated to clear the board when necessary. Whoever is dealt the Three of Clubs plays it first, and play continues from his or her left. (In the case of more than one deck, whoever throws it out first goes first.) The next player must match or beat the card played by the previous player, either by outranking it or playing multiple cards. For example, if a King is played, the next player might play an Ace, or a pair of Threes, etc. If a player cannot match or beat what's currently on the table, he or she must pass and take a drink. If a card on the table is matched, the next player is skipped (loses his or her turn) and must take a drink. If four or more cards of the same rank appear on the table in a row, then it is a "Social" (everyone raises their glasses and drinks) the board is cleared, the player who completed the Social gets to play again. A player may play a Deuce (or any number of Deuces) to clear the board and play again. The board is also cleared when a player manages to play all of his or her cards. Play continues in this manner until everyone but the last player has "gone out." The first player to go out is the next round's President; the second player, the Vice President. The last player to go out is the next round's Vice Asshole; the one left with cards in hand is the Asshole. All other players are Neutral.

Game Play (Subsequent Rounds): The Asshole deals the cards. Anyone who touches their cards before the Asshole picks his or her cards up has to take a drink. During this period, the Asshole has power over everyone; he or she may command others to drink. After dealing the cards, this power shifts to the President. After everyone has gathered their cards (this may take a while in later rounds) the President trades his or her worst two cards for the Asshole's best two cards; the Vice President and Vice Asshole trade one card in the same manner. "Best Card" is defined as the highest single card, and Deuces are better than Aces. After the trade, the Asshole is designated as the table clearer, and play continues as described above.

Special Rules: In some variations, if a player retains the rank of President for three consecutive rounds, he or she gets to make up a rule that is in effect for the rest of the game. Be creative. Also, if a player is Asshole for three consecutive rounds, he or she has to immediately finish all of his or her drink. Use discretion with this rule.

Winning the Game: There is no real overall game winner; as long as everyone has a good time and your place doesn't get trashed, everyone wins!

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