So here I stand in the Deli section of the supermarket. I am about seven years old and I am eying off the fritz. I really want a fritz sandwich, with cheese and sauce. A typical meal for the young me, one that I would devour before running off again to play Hunter by the creek. The lady calls the number and my mum steps up to the counter. She points at the ham and mentions a weight, and then glances down at me.
"Do you want some smiley fritz?" The fritz has darkened shapes in it that make the circular slice look like a smiling face. I nod eagerly. The lady smiles at me and takes a single piece with her tongs and passes it over the counter to me. She then takes a larger section and wraps it up in paper to take home, but to me that doesn't matter. I have my smile of the day.
Australia likes being confusing. Drop bears, are they real or are they not? Do we really have killer marsupials and does it really never rain? But that's all fun and games we play on the foreigners, there's one thing that is purely Australian. South Australians call it fritz. If you live in Western Australia it is Polony. Queenslanders and northern Kiwis call it Luncheon, It's Belgium in Tasmania and southern Kiwi-Land, and Devon in Victoria and New South Wales.
Ja, it's all the same thing and it's all slightly Deutsch. Originally it was known as German Sausage, but then the war happened in 1915 and suddenly that name fell out of favor. And now, for some reason, we have about a zillion different names for the meat, which is mostly pork, but not in the way that CMOT Dibbler's meat pies are "mostly meat." We have more laws than the Discworld, and it is, actually, mostly pork.
One can buy it pre-sliced or in large chunks, which can then be cut into thin slices for sandwiches or thick slices for frying or eating. "Smiley fritz" is a childhood favorite of mine, though I am not sure they are allowed to serve it over the counter any more. Most often it is eaten with tomato sauce, but it is good with other sauces, dependent on your taste buds. It costs about $10.50 per kg from Coles in Australia. I'm not sure what it costs in New Zealand, another place it is sold. While it's not got the same flavor as an actual cut of pork (it tastes somewhat like bologna) it is popular as a processed meat. I'll recommend it to you, just get its name right while Down Under.
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