Today I experienced a true miracle, and my best mate witnessed me experiencing it. The events that took place within the last hour would almost convince me that God existed in all his glory. Today a wish was granted, by who? well, I ain't got a fucking clue, but who cares it was granted.
The story starts 3 months ago, now stick with me, I'll cut to the good stuff real quick. Okay, I started working for a DIY store and at that DIY store there was a cashier, and this cashier was this damn fine, sexy, flirty, dainty, petite, feisty asian girl, the likes of which I have never seen before in my life, she used to poke her tongue out at me in a playful fashion for Christ sake! How could I resist! Now, at first I thought this girl was just a distraction from the madness created from dealing with the public, but after a very short period of time I realised I liked this girl, a hell of a lot, it quickly got to the stage where I'd look on the rota to see if she was in when I was. Then last Sunday I was given the news that I was no longer required and my last day would be the upcoming Wednesday.
The following day. Monday. This girl made it known that she was upset that I was going and wanted me to stay, and basically loads of other little signs that mean, hey I like you, ask me out for Christ sake. Now I'm not the sort of guy who can do face to face asking out, it's just something I can't quite do at this immature stage of my life.
Tuesday. I have a day off, I'm part time you see.
Wednesday. My last day, and this girl is in, wey hey!!!! I have prepared with me a letter in an envelope, saying something like, "hey I know you have a boyfriend, and you're probably not interested in me, but I really like you a lot and if you wanna get together sometime, here's my number". I then place this letter by her timesheet in the signing in book, pure genius! Then I make a quick exit, never to step foot in the place again, so if it all goes bad, I'm never going back there, I don't really give a shit. I look on the rota and see she has the following day, the Thursday, off, so by my reckoning she'll get it Friday morning when she signs in.
Friday. Being unemployed I spend a lot of the time just sitting around doing just enough so I don't go mad from boredom i.e. Playing Age of Empires II over and over again. So I'm sitting right here where I am now, thinking about when she'll get it, and waiting for a text or a call from her. Nothing comes, I get a bit down in the dumps to say the least.
Saturday night and lofidan being the mate he is, consoles me by plying me with enough magic monkey juice to take me on a round trip to Spaceland. Then just when I'm hitting the sort of peak where I start freaking out about how matter came into existence my mobile rings. I fumble around in my rucksack and rush it to me ear. It's the girl, she's just got my note. she hadn't worked the Friday. She was shocked and surprised, and I was talking utter shit. The next thing I know she tells me she has to go and will call me later, I fear that my ramblings about "how the fuck do atomic clocks work?" haven't impressed her.
A couple of hours later and I'm magically back at my house watching shit on tv at 11:30pm. The girl hasn't called me and I'm getting worried, so I text her and she texts back telling me to call her in 20 minutes. Now I'm really excited but also logging it as I'm still pretty monged. 20 minutes go by and I make the call, I speak to her for about 30 minutes and she makes it clear that she has a boyfriend and she likes me as a friend but that's it. I spill my guts to her about how much I like her, but to no avail. The conversation ends abruptly and all my initial excitement and optimism turns to pure sadness and loneliness.
One thing I do remember was that she said I had something coming to me, not in those words, but she implied that something would be coming my way. I had no idea what she meant at the time.
I text her straight away asking if I can take her out as a 'friend', hey come on, it was worth a try. i get no reply, I get the message. I wake up the following morning, Sunday, feeling like giving it one more shot, I again text her asking if I can take her out that evening, she declines, saying maybe another time, but I knew that she was just being polite, she wasn't interested in me. But I text her again saying "have a nice day at work with Darren (our shithead manager), I guess this is the bit where I stop bothering you". I get no reply. I'm depressed, miserable, I suddenly realise how much I feel for her, how much I want to be with her, just see her, and I never would again, another love lost, another rejection, I was so sure she liked me as well, how could I have got it so wrong, shit!
Today. Monday. Totally awful day, don't ask, just one of those days where you just get in a worser and worser mood. My mate lofi also had a terrible day so we decided to ease the pain in the most carcinogenic fashion. I cycle to his house and toke up, happy days! His buttered up bird then rings him, she's been playing hard to get, and giving negative signals, but she's asking him out! I'm happy for him, but so so envious. We end our night looking at The Office then we're walking down his road, it's dark and chilly and quiet. His lady rings him again, she's practically presenting it on a plate for him, he's pretty happy. We continue walking down the road and I go off on one wishing how my girl would just go out with me, and how I love her. I'd been going on about her all night, but I just had to get one final drug fuelled rant in about how life is so unfair to me. Then my phone rings once, my girl had done this 2 nights before as a message for me to call her. I freeze momentarily with excitement, I throw my rucksack off and get my phone out in double quicktime. 1471, it's her, press 3 to call back. It's her and she hasn't dialled my number by accident. Excited isn't the word, but I play it cool asking how she is. Then I ask if this is the warm-up chat for her 4 hour conversation with her boyfriend. I don't have a boyfriend, come again, you what, you don't have a boyfriend. I'm pacing up and down, lofi breaks out a blunt and stays put. You had a boyfriend two nights ago when I talked to you. Yeah well now I don't I told him to piss off. Oh yeah, I'm getting pretty high right then. A bit more small talk working my way up to go in for the kill. So now you've not got no boyfriend you must have a few empty evenings in your diary. Maybe I do she says. I'll take that as a yes I retort. So, now you've not got someone to take you out....oh but my friends take me out she cuts in with. Yeah but you get tired of friends, you need someone else don't ya, how about we go out sometime. There, I've said it, cards on table time again. Maybe we could she says. I'll take that as a yes, when's good for you? Saturday, during the day. Lofidan has walked back to his house 10 minutes before this, I get on my bike and cycle the rest of the way home doped up to the eyeballs chanting "I'm the King of the fucking world!" or was it "I'm the fucking King!" I don't know, but I was definitly the King of something.
Now I just have to get a job, get a place of my own, sort out my manic depression and mood swings, sort out my insecurities, and happy days I'm a fit member of society.
A couple more positive things. One, she said I was fit and not exactly ugly. Two, two other guys had asked her out where we worked, plus any number of customers, and she's chosen to go out on a date with me, it is a date isn't it? Right, a wank I think.