Last night I did not sleep well. I woke up around one, went back to bed, saw that it was three the next time I opened my eyes, and went into the kitchen for some water around four. Yesterday I was very depressed for most of the day. The weather was not cheerful, the girls were running around the house and not doing the things I had asked them to, and I was morose and depressed. While I was on Twitter I started thinking about how many of the coaches I follow seem to tweet things that are very similar. While I was wondering out loud about this I got into a conversation with a follower of mine. We chatted for a while before he asked what I did and if I had a website.

I told him I wasn't sure what I should do after I quit my job and I wanted there to be a way for people to learn how to shop for footwear so I started my own company that was focused on footwear education. He asked me to email him so I did and now we have a call scheduled for Monday. That exchange gave me a small burst of energy as did an invitation from a girlfriend of mine to hit our local Goodwill. I didn't have a particular need in mind when I headed there. Mostly it was an escape from the house and the dishes that were not quite finished, but as I wandered down the aisles and saw her putting clothes in the cart we were sharing I thought about the clothes I had and realized I wanted more sweaters.

Finding petite sizes at Goodwill and other thrift stores can be elusive. This time I found a couple things, which was nice, however they were white and summer weight. I tried them on anyways, and one of the things I just love about my friend is she's honest and can tell right away whether something works or has potential and what is just wrong. I found an easy Chinese cookbook, another that was beautifully illustrated that I didn't need, but wanted anyways, and a wallet that I ended up putting back since I felt it was too big. Goodwill is a store I can't spend too much time in as a lot of the clothes has detergent and fabric softener still clinging to it and that makes my nose itch and eyes run.

There were some CDs I could have bought, but wasn't sure I would actually listen to a collection of mazurkas more than a time or two. I'd like to get more classical music that we can play in the kitchen and down in the basement when I'm doing laundry, but nothing made it into the box to take home. Some time ago I cracked the top of my phone case so I bought a replacement for less than two dollars. I also found a very reasonably priced iPad mini case that ended up working well for my youngest daughter. I bought two figuring we could take whatever didn't work back, but now both girls like the same case so I'm going to see if I can go back to find another that's the same brand which is Gaiam for anyone who is interested in the harder cases.

Yesterday I reached out to the editor who had previously agreed to help me with my Jedd Gyorko piece. I explained that I've been trying to write a book and kept rewriting it instead of moving forward. I didn't know how he would react, but this morning I woke up and found an email from him telling me he was interested in working with me, but he needed time to mull over what he would charge since he hasn't edited a book before. I don't know why I get so anxious about things like that. The worst he could have done was ignore me or tell me to buzz off, but he didn't choose either of those paths so now I'm excited.

I feel like I owe an apology to editors in general and people who have helped me with pieces I've written in the past. I didn't understand what a good editor, or even a not great one can do as far as showing me things that I hadn't thought about before. I was under the mistaken impression that an editor was responsible for making sure that grammar and punctuation was correct and a piece flowed well. I greatly underestimated their capacity and for anyone who is looking for a way to improve their writing, I would strongly encourage them to find an editor that you have a good relationship with which doesn't mean someone who will look at your badly argumented post and wave a magic red pen over it.

We live in a town where I have many dental options, but I choose to drive half an hour away because I just love our new dentist and I've had the privilege of meeting other editors, but something about this new person I met is working for me better than others have in the past, and I'm wondering if that was part of why I didn't get what an editor could be doing. I have a friend who has done some editorial freebies for me, and I love her as a friend while admiring her writing skill, style, and talents, but now I realize that there can be disadvantages to working with friends in situations like this.

Perhaps you, like myself, may think that an editor is beyond your means, and possibly that is true, however I have found many editors who are more than happy to lend some of their spare time to help me out, and you may have a similar experience if you reached out. A word of advice, make it easy for them to help you. Explain what you want and go over your submission for typos before you send it out. A good editor can work past those, but you're trying to make a good impression even if what you're sending isn't tremendously well written. The guy I'm talking about told me my piece was all over the place, and it stung for a moment, but I realized that what he said was true and after that I was able to rewrite a better post.

Another thing I've been thinking about is how I write and whether my thoughts or ideas would help anyone else. I find myself in a curious position of benefiting from what others have written on the subject, but not very confident that I have a lot to say that hasn't been said better elsewhere. On the other hand I believe there is value in pushing yourself and maybe what I'm writing will be of value to myself and anyone else who comes across it. I love dialogue so I will probably focus on that since things like plot and setting don't seem to feature prominently in things I've written.

Posting this in haste,

Jess

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