The guards shoved Taylor into the room and closed the doors behind them, the two gorillas taking their posts on either side of it. In front of him were a half dozen smartly uniformed chimpanzees, apparently of some importance or distinction. Strangely, they all bore a symbol on their uniforms, something he hadn’t seen yet on this world. It was a dollar sign.

The crowd of chimpanzees parted, revealing an even more distinguished figure. It was an orangutan, and based on his bearing and appearance, Taylor assumed he was in charge. The orangutan’s uniform, though similar to those worn by the chimpanzees, bore this symbol: @

“I am Dr. Zaius,” said the orangutan. “As you might have guessed, we are in charge of this world. As for my position, it would be difficult to describe in terms your primitive human brain could comprehend. Let us just say that I am a god.”

Before Taylor could speak, Zaius continued. “As for your companion from this so-called ‘space craft’, the one you called Landon...” With a gesture from Zaius, the chimpanzees parted to reveal a human clad in rags. From a collar around his neck, a chain dangled.

Talyor ran through the apes and embraced his friend. “Landon! What happened? Are you all right?” Landon did not speak, or even move, but simply stared ahead with a blank look on his face. “Landon! What’s wrong? Answer me.” Talyor found his answer when he saw the other side of Landon’s head. It was shaved and an ugly scar circled the top of his skull.

Taylor sprang for Dr. Zaius in a rage, but he was restrained by the chimpanzees. “You god-dammed dirty apes! You broke his brain!”

“He was borged,” Zaius said. “It had to be done, really. He was doing nothing but complaining about our world in the chatterbox and labeling us something called 'nazis,' whatever that strange human term means. He posted nothing but GTKY nodes and insulted the content editors. He brought it on himself, see. And the same fate will befall you if you fail to follow the rules so clearly specified by our forefather apes in Everything University.”

The gorillas dragged the screaming Taylor away. Just as they left the room, Dr. Zaius called after them. “Always remember: Node for the apes!

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