I had a roommate who would hide kitchen utensils, he would take the wooden spoon with slots and bury it in a hole in the backyard. That bastard. He took all the forks and put them in a bag together and buried that too, more craftily though so that the top of the hole was partially obscured by a bush. I found them anyways. Once when he was supposed to wash dishes he threw all the plates into the big dumpster behind the house. Just the plates, everything else he washed, dried, and put away carefully as if everything was fine. Punk.

Among his other shining qualities was refusing to write invidual cheques for more than twenty dollars a piece. In order to pay his portion of the rent then, he would write eleven different cheques at once and give them to me.

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