Oh mystical magical mountain man
You are my spoon, my spatula, and can
The reason for being, for seeing, my plan
You move me, you marvelous masterful man

A bearded bedazzling white-toothed smile
Your long legs make mockery of mile after mile
Come sit and we'll talk, and just *be* for a while
An absence of pretence, the ultimate in style

With morals impeccable and humour complete
Your flapjacks are tasty, wholesome and sweet
A friend to indigenes, and all that you meet
I'm just a little concerned 'bout the size of your feet.