Sometimes, you can find the weirdest things around you at work, if only you look. Like Florida being promoted for its hockey. Or the Legacy of Mr. Door, an important lesson about management skills and modern animism.

I took an early supper break, and on my way out the door, I noticed a sign. It read:

Dear Staff,

Please keep me closed. Mr. Air Conditioner doesn't like it when people leave me open.

Thanks,
Mr. Door

At first, I chuckled amusedly. But then, I started to think about the strange relationship shared by my enigmatic co-workers, Mr. Door and Mr. Air Conditioner.

What sort of person is this "Mr. Air Conditioner?" He sounds like a real jerk, telling Mr. Door to stay closed just so he doesn't have to do more work. That doesn't sound very fair, really; we're all here to do work, and Mr. Air Conditioner should pull his own weight. Mr. Air Conditioner sounds like some sort of capitalist fat cat, forcing Mr. Door to obey his strict behavioural edicts just so he can take more than his fair share of leisure time. Mr. Door, my portal proletarian friend, I implore you to fight this injustice, rise up and combat your oppressor, Mr. Air Conditioner!

On the other hand, it's not very professional for Mr. Door to go blabbing to everyone just who complained. A good manager doesn't single out a dissenter. If he has to appeal to our sense of being a team, Mr. Door should simply say, "It puts an extra burden on some of our employees when you leave me open." Gee, Mr. Door really is acting like a snivelling office-politicking instigator, trying to antagonise his employees against one another. Mr. Air Conditioner, I understand that Mr. Door is putting you in a very awkward position, and I just wanted you to know that it's not fair. You don't deserve that kind of treatment; hell, you were up for that promotion that Mr. Door got, and you're the one that deserved it, and everybody knows Mr. Door only got the promotion because he's dating the owner's daughter.

Hrm, these intra-office disputes are way too complicated. And maybe I should see someone about this incessant apostrophe....