A free show put on by The Rio, a casino close to (but not actually on) the Las Vegas strip, mostly to draw people into the place in the hopes that they'll gamble, and to distribute cheap, plastic bead necklaces to make people feel like they're having a good time.

Each show consists of a run-up period of approximately ten minutes that occurs before the scheduled start of the show, where assorted floodlights spin and twirl around randomly to light up the casino floor and its balcony. During this period, one or more clowns wanders through the crowd performing amusing tricks (putting on arguably a better show than the "real" show itself). This/these are likely to arrive via an electric cart outfitted to look all partied up; it in fact blasts the obnoxious tune Let's Get Loud over and over until its driver mercifully removes it from the casino floor. Also during this period, a polite but stern female voice loudly reminds parents that children are not welcome on the casino floor, but should be herded up onto the balcony overlooking the casino floor. Loud, generic Gloria Estefan-ish music plays to try to warm up the crowd.

At or around the scheduled showtime, the generic Gloria Estefan-ish music abruptly stops, a normally inert stage (which is lowered before the show begins) raises up to reveal a group of between eight and fourteen dancers. Most of these are showgirls, but a few are male. All are dressed in costumes that fit the show's theme (there are four themes), and the showgirls are usually wearing as little as possible for an all ages show. They dance to a soundtrack of astoundingly bad covers of assorted songs that fit the show's theme. The word "theme" is used loosely here, as there's not really much gluing the songs together.

As the dancers take the stage, a wall is lowered next to the stage that reveals a series of floats that run one by one out onto a track in the ceiling. One float resembles a hot air balloon, with a scrolling message board begging those who view it to buy stuff or purchase a ticket to ride in the show (more on that in a moment). It contains a single dancer, usually male. Another float resembles a floral arrangement or lily pad, and is by far the most pleasant of them all to look at because it'll filled with showgirls (five of them) and stays out on the track the longest (it's the first to come out and the last to be put back in). The girls are strapped to safety harnesses to (presumably) prevent them falling to their deaths if they were to slip, taking some of the potential thrill out of the show. The next float resembles a classic riverboat, complete with moving paddle. It, is adorned with a single showgirl, and a male dancer. The last float is a goofy looking boat, of a type unknown to this noder. It's usually very boring, with no animated parts and only a male dancer.

All the floats that emerge from behind the stage have seating for people who've purchased tickets to ride in the show for $9.95 each, except for the hot air balloon, which has room only for the dancer it carries. The suckers who have done this invariably have one of two expressions on their faces: "Yay! I'm in a show!" or "I spent ten bucks on this?".

The dancers on stage and the dancers (including the girls) on the floats dance to roughly eight different songs (none are full length; they're just little snippets of each covered tune), then the stage act goes away. Once this happens, any floats that are still making their rounds become floating fortresses of doom because the girls and dancers stop dancing, and start throwing cheap plastic bead necklaces at the crowds. People nearly kill each other to get their hands on these cheap trinkets. In some cases virtual stampedes begin if a necklace hits the floor (or the balcony) instead of being caught. Some people even chase the floats to get a few more chances to catch the necklaces.

The dancers most definitely enjoy causing scenes like this, as they seem to throw the beads only at the most excited of the people watching the show.

Occasionally during the stage act, a giant peacock is brought on stage that bobs its head and shows off its tail feathers for no apparent reason. It's actually pretty cute.

The show itself isn't nearly as interesting as those who watch it; from a safe distance it's quite entertaining to watch idiots kill each other for a bunch of plastic beads. Additionally, this show seems to be a proving ground for budding stagehands and mixer and directors, because something almost always goes terribly wrong with the show -- either the floats move too fast and catch up to each other before the tracks in the ceiling can switch positions to guide them, or they end up being stopped for the entire duration of the show because the guy pushing the buttons doesn't know what he's doing. The dancing girls on the lily pad float are particularly amusing to watch when this happens, as they have to keep dancing even though they're stuck in the only position on the track where nobody can actually see them doing it.

After the show is finished and the producers manage to get all the floats back into their cage, a showgirl appears on the casino floor with a photographer, who will pose with you (and photograph, respectively) for a price. It's usually a pretty ugly showgirl.

The show is mildly entertaining, partly because it's free, and partly because the girls almost always do things that make their breasts bounce a whole lot. It's also quite fun to watch the producers screw up the floats.

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.