I must go for a run today. Got to not have a cigarette.
Who am I kidding I won't go for a run. Why try.
Get out of bed. Into the kitchen.
Do it. Go for a run. Have a cigarette and then go. The packet now absent one. Check email. Muscle memory recites reddit.com. Middleclicking. Picture, see it, seen it, close it, repeat. Next page. Come on, go in a minute... just this one thing then that's it.
Can't waste another day. Hours later, refreshing the front page. All out. Need a break. Pants, socks, shoes, on. Out the door. Hit the lift, don't look in the mirror, so shameful. To the shop for chocolate, eyes to the ground at the till, sunlit face brims with scorn at the sight of this sloth. Stuffed deep in the coat pocket so strangers won't know.
Nicotine cycle. Sugar burst. Information supersize-me. Never just one 'one more', is it junkie?
Feel useless. Write some code towards 7am. Just one more thing, then that's it. Stay up all day to break the cycle? No. Defeated.