No? Are you sure?
Alright.
Just the tiramisu for me, then, please. And two coffees. Black, with plenty of sugar. Thank you.
You know, you really should eat something. You're looking far too skinny. No, I know you don't think so, but I see these kids on TV with their ribs showing and I worry, you know? I can't help it. People should enjoy themselves more. Not torture themselves so much about how they look and how they dress and what other people think. There's a woman behind you in an impossible-looking dress prodding at a plate of asparagus. I wonder about that. Sometimes I think some people only eat here because they want to be seen. They don't even like the food. ...you're right, she can if she wants to. But there must be, what, six billion people in here tonight? And ignoring good food's a sin. I know I've tried to raise you better than that. Ah. Here we are.
Excellent, thank you. Oh, I couldn't have an ashtray, could I, waitress?
Oh, don't look at me like that. I know, I know, I'm a bad influence. Indulge an old man. Besides, it's a big restaurant. They don't mind some smoke blowing around. Lends the place some atmosphere, I think. Yes, I do know it's bad for me, thank you very much. That's the benefit of age. You get to lecture people about their mistakes and they don't get to call you on yours any more. You'll understand when you're older. Speaking of which, I still think you're wrong about skipping dessert. The chef here's good, but he's not quick. You could be sitting here for hours waiting on your steak coming - okay, your salad coming - and before you know it it's dark outside, you're still hungry and you can't see any of the people you came in with any more. It's a bit of a melee, I know, but you have to take what you can get while you can. And I'd hate for you to have done all that only to get there and find that the salad wasn't worth waiting for, you see?
This is delicious, by the way. I mean, feel free to stick to soy and that oatmeal bran stuff you like, by all means, but you know I'm old-fashioned. And I still think that you're only in civilisation if you can get good tiramisu. Oh, I always say that, do I? Well, it happens to be the truth, I'll have you know. Besides, we can't afford to come here that often. It's supposed to be a treat, you could at least try and enjoy it. You don't have to feel guilty about having a bit of fun now and then. I mean, back in the war, we... oh, have I told you that one? Damn. Well, you can't blame an old man for trying, can you? I just want you to enjoy yourself.
...well. Yes, perhaps you're right. But trust me about the tiramisu.
Cheque, please-