War in the modern era should be run by marketing departments. Too much of the romance and popular elements of war are overlooked from so many different standpoints. There has always been an underlying hard sell when it comes to drawing swords, loading guns and marching off to battle. Remember all those posters calling young knights off to battle during World War II? The hard sell works. These men were heroes because they were marketed properly.

See the buddy that you were eating cold beans with in a trench last night lying dead at your feet

No, no. That doesn't work at all. We are not going to get the en masse enthusiasm we need to properly motivate the necessary troops. We need something more. Something that tugs at the heartstrings like a Hollywood movie. Something that Gregory Peck would endorse.

Let's die a romantic death together on the wings of freedom!

Ah, Senorita, I think you might have something there. People have always had issues with war. They might feel strongly about fighting for whatever cause might be involved, but there are also those who bemoan the loss of life and limb. And of course all the nasty disembowelment. Who says the rules of war can't change? Well, we need the fighting. Humans believe strongly in fighting as a way of resolving political and social issues. We have to concede that point. No one will ever accept playing jacks for the right to control Thailand.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Listen, Esmeralda, the mind's wheels are turning here. Marketing. Ratings. War. Resolving issues and remaining on the cutting edge. What we do is choose a number of couples, preferably newlyweds, and send them off to war together. The other side also choses a number of couples and they make camp on the battlefield and prepare to fight in the morning. Nice bloody fighting, like those people enjoyed watching during the Civil War when they packed picnic lunches and dangled umbrellas and prepared to view the combat. Enjoyable stuff. Look at what a hit Survivor was and those other shows I taped for Grandma Bobki. This would be similar, but on a grander and more real scale. Root for your favorite couples to survive and advance... or cheer their bravery and dedication as they die a romantic death on the wings of freedom!

"I'm going to have to call Senator Gozinska on this."

Excellent, you take care of the political side. Gozinska has the ear of the president. Nice touch. I'll get with the networks. This could even be the rebirth of the miniseries, mated with real life television. Think of the money that could be made from after the fact documentaries and biographies of the brave souls who risked all for king and country!

No animals were harmed in the desecration of this node. The tuna fish sandwich Esmeralda was eating during the narrator's second soliloquy was dolphin safe. Drive safely.

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