I never did like Nirvana or Kurt, and the closest I ever got to his widow was that I grabbed Courtney Love's tit at Lollapalooza.
So, here we go:

Kurt Cobain's Suicide Note, with interjections by Courtney Love

Courtney:
I don't know what to say. I feel the same way you guys do. If you guys don't think... to sit in this room where he played guitar and sang, and feel so honored to be near him, you're crazy... Anyway, he left a note, it's more like a letter to the fucking editor. I don't know what happened. I mean it was gonna happen, but it could've happened when he was 40. He always said he was gonna outlive everybody and be a hundred and twenty. I'm not gonna read you all the note 'cause it's none of the rest of your fucking business. But some of it is to you. I don't really think it takes away his dignity to read this considering that it's addressed to most of you. He's such an asshole. I want you all to say 'asshole' really loud.

Kurt:
"This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years since my first introduction to the shall we say, ethics involved with independence and embracement of your community, it's proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music, along with really writing something, for too many years now."

"I feel guilty beyond words about these things -- for example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and adoration of the crowd."

Courtney:
Well, Kurt, so fucking what -- then don't be a rock star you asshole.

Kurt:
"Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact that I can't fool you, any one of you, it simply isn't fair to you or to me. The worst crime I could think of would be to pull people off by faking it, pretending as if I'm having 100% fun"

Courtney:
Well Kurt, the worst crime I can think of is for you to just continue being a rock star when you fucking hate it, just fucking stop.

Kurt:
"Sometimes I feel as I should have a punch-in time-clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do, God believe me I do, but it's not enough. I appreciate the fact that I and we have effected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're alone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours I've had a much better appreciation of all the people I know personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get out the frustration to gather the empathy I have for everybody. There's good in all of us and I simply love people too much."

Courtney:
So why didn't you just fucking stay?

Kurt:
"So much that it makes me feel just too fucking sad. Sad little sensative unappreciative Pieces --"

Courtney:
Jesus man oh shut up.. bastard Why didn't you just enjoy it? I don't know. Then he goes on to say personal things to me that are none of your damn business; personal things to Frances that are none of your damn business.

Kurt:
"I had a good marriage, and for that I'm grateful. But since the age of seven, I've become hateful toward all humans in general only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy."

Courtney:
Empathy?

Kurt:
"Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the last years. I'm pretty much of an erratic moody person and I don't have the passion anymore. Peace, Love, Empathy, Kurt Cobain."

Courtney:
And there is some more personal things that is none of your damn business. And just remember: this is all bullshit... And I'm laying in our bed, and I'm really sorry. And I feel the same way you do. I'm really sorry you guys. I don't know what I could have done. I wish I'd been here. I wish I hadn't listened to other people, but I did.

Every night I've been sleeping with his mother, and I wake up in the morning and think it's him because his body's sort of the same.

I have to go now.

-- Courtney Love

moJoe
*psst*, Courney, he's dead, you can yell at him all you want, but I don't think he is going to answer. Do us all a favor and lay off the sauce; eh?

-- moJoe
Kurt Cobain's Suicide Note--unannotated and complete

To Boddah:

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community had proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begin, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much, I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy,

Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I love you, I love you!

On Kurt and Courtney, the private investigator Love hired says he thinks it's more likely that this was really a letter Kurt wrote about quitting his band, with a few sentences added by Courtney Love.

The lines about how he loves his wife and child were written in a different handwriting and below his signature. Yes, I've seen a picture of it.

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