Conjectural Arcade Game, early 1990's

KTFHI2* represented the scrolling beat-'em-up reaching its ultimate form, where the burdens of plot and consistent setting are dispensed with and the players (1-8) are left free to concentrate on the business of Kicking Their Fucking Heads In. The game placed a healthy emphasis on Jackie Chan-style improvisation, with everything from boltcutters, shopping trolleys and oxycetalene blowtorches to more unconventional weapons such as a small family hatchback or a sack filled with live weasels being made available to the player.

Locations ranged from the generic street scene (in this case accurately reconstructed from areas of Liverpool), and the inside of a whale to a gigantic bouncy castle and even a tuba players' convention. As the players clobbered their way through hordes of defenceless opponents, the game would spur them on with encouragements ("KICK THEIR FUCKING HEADS IN!") and handily point out appropriate targets with huge flashing KICK FUCKING HEAD IN arrows.

Unfortunately the game was never released as its developers were in actual fact a group of children with overactive imaginations.

*the game was designated '2' because the sequel is always far better than the original. And of course, who hasn't played Kick Their Fucking Heads In 1?

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