I had just come home and I took a room,
I was all settled down to recline,
When I saw a delectable maid go by,
To the room next door to mine
Like the bold Columbus then,
I set out to explore,
And I took up my position by
The keyhole on the door.
The keyhole in the door,
My boys, the keyhole in the door
I took up my position
By the keyhole in the door.
She first took off her slippers,
Her dainty feet to show,
And then she took her panties off
And revealed her so-and-so,
And when she stretched out on her bed,
I couldn't stand no more,
It was one, two, three, I turned the key
In the keyhole in the door
She didn't say a single word.
But she took me in her arms,
And pretty soon I was much engaged,
In charting all her charms
But just in case some other sailor
`D see the sights I saw,
I hung my trousers right above
The keyhole in the door.
That night I rode in glorious style,
And other things besides,
And on her lily white stomach, Boys,
I had such lovely rides
But when I woke next morning, Boys,
My instrument was sore
As if I had been using it
On the keyhole in the door.
Be warned by this, young sailormen
And listen unto me,
What I caught then, no fishermen
Have ever caught at sea
Beware the pox, the hidden rocks,
That lie in wait ashore,
It's safer far to bend your spar
In the keyhole in the door.
(English sea shanty -- original author unknown)