Why Jar-Jar Binks sucks ass
Seumas (seumas@seumas.com)
Originally posted on Slashdot




The animosity toward Jar-Jar Binks is not because Star Wars fans dislike the inclusion of humor in the deuce-trilogy. In fact, Star Wars is filled with it.

The problem is that most semi-hard-core Star Wars fans are fairly intelligent. In fact, I would not hesitate to suggest they are above average intelligence. We want to see the dry-wit of Harrison Ford or the humor of the befuddled C3PO and his anal personality.

We do not want to see Steve Urkel. We don't want to see Jerry Lewis. Slap-Stick is a cheap and thoughtless form of humor which belongs in cheap and light films (Ace Ventura, Austin Powers, etc.). When you make slap-stick a large part of a movie such as Star Wars, you are insulting your true fan-base for the sake of marketing a few million extra action figures and Happy Meals.

Star Wars fans do not find stepping in 'doo-doo' funny. It's a low-blow to the viewer and leaves you with this strange idea of super-imposing Bob Saget's (Funniest Home Videos) face and voice over Jar-Jar.

Not only did Lucas insult many of his fans with the sheer idiocy of Jar-Jar Binks, but he prevented the character from displaying any worth to the plot. A writer knows that characters who are not integral to the plot, or the procession of the plot should be written-out. Binks was left in and any investment you might make in the character through the film is not returned. By the end of the film, the only accomplishment Jar-Jar manages is to survive.

So what could have been changed, other than writing him out completely? If he had simply had a moment of bravery in the final moments of the film, his character would have been redeeming. But his character was as flat and undeveloped at the end as he was in the beginning.

Some people suggest that Jar-Jar's worth will be realized in the second installment, but that doesn't excuse the utter lack of progression in Episode I. And it certainly doesn't explain some 230 scenes (of the 2000) in the film.

All I can say is that meesa think Jar-Jar Binks was the biggest waste of cpu cycles in the history of man.

                    - fin -

The accent's not exactly fake. Ahmed Best, the actor who played Jar Jar (i.e., wore the Jar Jar suit and got digitally adjusted), is really from the Carribean. George Lucas had originally planned to have a voiceover actor read the lines, but Best ended up doing it himself. I believe that actors' union rules would then stipulate that he got paid about a bazillion times more for the role than if he'd just worn a rubber suit, jumped around, and let somebody else read.

Not that this is any excuse for the existence of Jar Jar. At all.

George Lucas is fabulously wealthy because of a casual accident that changed the course of the movie business.

In the seventies, when he was filming Star Wars, it was seen in the industry as a schlocky niche movie with bad prospects, and was expected to be an expensive failure. At the height of the crisis, when the studio was threatening to can the project, Lucas took a big pay cut as a "show of faith" - something besieged directors of wildly over budget movies sometimes do (see James Cameron and Titanic). The crucial detail of that renegotiation was that, as a token conciliation, Lucas was assigned all of the merchandising rights associated with the movie.

Much like IBM in their infamous OS deal with Microsoft, Fox had no idea what they were giving away. In the late 1970's, movie merchandising was a tiny, almost cottage industry, virtually ignored and utterly insignificant.

Star Wars became a runaway hit, especially popular with children. Lucas, realizing it was his only chance to capitalize on his success, built the first real "movie franchise." He turned his piddling merchandising rights into a multi-million dollar industry, and Star Wars action figures, lunch boxes, video games (first, Atari, and later, Nintendo and others), storybooks, underwear, shower curtains, wallpaper, place settings, etc. flew off the shelves, both because of their novelty, and because of the public's love for the story. Lucas became phenomenally rich, richer than any director could normally become. Flogging the toys was his only hope of making real money – and he made it make money better than anyone could have possibly imagined. To this day, every time something with the Star Wars name on it is sold, he gets a piece of the action.

The subsequent decades saw the evolution of this accident into the modern film and television industry, which is, basically, an advertising channel. Selling plastic is, and has always been, where the real money is. Subverting the modern arts to do it better was just something no one had had the audacity to undertake on a large scale before.

At first, producers and advertisers were happy with the "subliminal" approach of simply having Indiana Jones eating Corn Flakes instead of Wheaties or flying Delta instead of Pan Am. Later, the camera started to linger, scripts started to contort to accept big name sponsors, and eventually, entire movies were created simply as a vehicle for product advertising (i.e. recent James Bond movies, or the BMW short films they inspired). Considering the relative costs and benefits, it was a great deal. It was really good advertising that might actually make you money. That's what they in the industry like to call "synergy." Television had already gone through a similar metamorphosis; now it was time for the movies to follow suit.

Now Lucas has the benefit of hindsight. Thus, the entire purpose of the Phantom Menace is to sell toys. As is well known in the video game industry, racing game technology is easily licensed, and racing games are relatively cheap to produce. Not long into the initial production of Episode 1, the Nintendo deal was cut, the word came down: Phantom Menace would have a "racing scene" – and thus a tortured, logicless 20 minute interlude involving Anakin racing for his freedom and Liam Neeson betting on it was developed.

Jar Jar is part of a long line of "toy characters" designed by the equivalent of an advertising industry focus group – the same sort of technique that produced the Teletubbies, Barney, and Pokemon (another excellent example of this phenomenon). He's not designed to entertain you any more than the Phantom Menace is really meant to be a movie, per se. He's there in a calculated, cold-blooded attempt to sell children a toy.

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