INTERNATIONAL PROLETARIAN
HAMMER THROWING & RHETORIC FLINGING
COMPETITION


ON: MAY 1ST, 1988. At: (where else?)
MARX MEADOWS in GOLDEN GATE PARK

CONTEST RULES

You will have two hours to compose a manifesto using the terms struggle, heroic, vanguard, revolutionary, reified, workers party (penalty for use of apostrophe), people’s army, liberated zone, revolutionary government, street youth, white skin privilege, womyn, wimmin, wimin, wimmen, wymyn, people of color (not colored people), petit bourgeois, trade union consciousness, infantile, objectively counterrevolutionary, objectively reactionary, bosses, stooge, puppet, decadent, exploitation, fight, smash, hands off, build, stop, unleash, free (fill in the blankBob Avakian is a good choice), revisionist, fascist, opportunist, deviationist, and running dog. You must use all terms!! (Special prize for the most inventive neologism. Last year’s winner: Phallocracy.)

You will then have two hours to put your manifesto into publishable form. Supply your own tools. Preferred typesetting equipment: old manual typewriter (extra points for: worn ribbons, broken or filled-in characters, handwritten corrections).

The longest, most unreadable entry wins. The triumphant manifesto will then be copied on a 15-year old xerox machine, which I hear hasn’t been cleaned since 1978, bound with a staple in one corner, and distributed to contest participants. Losers will be compelled to read it. Those who refuse will be unmasked as objectively counterrevolutionary petit bourgeois anarchists and will face the revolutionary justice of the people’s democratic dictatorship.

- Charles Bufe, parody poster from The Heretic’s Handbook of Quotations, a wonderful and essential book. And no, I don’t know who Bob Avakian is either.

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