The one hit by white R&B crooner and 80s one-hit wonder Evander Ross. Though few remember him now, for a few weeks in 1983 MTV was like the Evander Channel. Within minutes of turning it on at any given time of day you'd be sure to see the video of him onstage before a crowd of ecstatic young women, belting out this heartbreaking ballad while both his artfully sculpted blonde mane and his trademark metallic blue suit gleamed beneath the spotlights. (On a side note, the plump, pretty girl in the front row to whom Evander gives a rose is none other than a pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston.)

The song, track three off Evander's debut album Sex Objects May Be Closer Than They Appear, held the number one spot on the Billboard charts from mid-May to late June. A minor controversy arose as it began to slide off the charts when black R&B crooner and 70s one-hit wonder Luther White filed a lawsuit against Polymer Records claiming that the bulk of the lyrics and some of the melody of "If You Can't See My Mirrors" had been stolen from his own 1974 song "(Back Off) Baby". Polymer and Mr. White settled out of court for an undisclosed sum; Evander would later claim that the label "wouldn't touch" him after that, and that the incident was responsible for the under-promotion and subsequent poor sales of his follow-up album Rain On The Night. It's likely however that Evander Ross's day in the sun had simply come to a natural end. Still, we will always have the summer of '83 and the memory of that shiny, shiny suit.

Girl, I seen you watching me across the floor
And I got the notes you left on my front door
But you should know I got a heart that's breakin'
Girl you know I just ain't fakin'
So I'm tellin' you now:

If you can't see my mirrors
Then I can't see you
Back up two or three car lengths
And maybe we can see it through
I'm like an eighteen-wheeler
Doin' ninety in the rain
Back off a little, baby, and you'll save us both the pain

I know you think I love you, girl
Perhaps it could be true
But you're crowding my rear bumper
And I might crash into you
If you can't read the sticker then I'll say it loud and clear
It's dang'rous driving this close and this warning you should hear:

If you can't see my mirrors
Then I can't see you
Back up two or three car lengths
And maybe we can see it through
I'm like an eighteen-wheeler
Doin' ninety in the rain
Back off a little, baby, and you'll save us both the pain

Sources:
Sex Objects May Be Closer Than They Appear, 1983 Polymer Records
VH-1: One Hit Wonders

Lyrics reprinted by permission of the copyright holder

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