IT'S THE YEAR 2000, I WANT FLYING CARS, I WAS PROMISED FLYING CARS? WHY AREN'T THERE ANY FLYING CARS? DON'T WE NEED FLYING CARS? WE'RE IN THE YEAR 2000, AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLYING CARS. HOW CAN A CIVILIZATION SURVIVE IN THE YEAR 2000 AND NOT HAVE ANY FLYING CARS? I WANT FLYING CARS AND I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL WE HAVE FLYING CARS. YOU KNOW WHY WE DON'T HAVE FLYING CARS? BECAUSE OF SILLY, RIDICULIOUS BASTARDS LIKE YOURSELF, OH WE DON'T WANT THE HINDENBURG DISASTER ON OUR ROADWAYS AND HIGHWAYS, WE DON'T WANT GERMAN ATROCITIES IN OUR BASEMENT, WE DON'T WANT THE VARIOUS DEBATES ON THE PRONOUNCIATIONS OF AYN RAND, LINUX AND AND JOHN JAY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN IT'S PRONOUNCED 'won way'? WON WAY TO HELL IF YOU ASK ME.

YOU KNOW WHY WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLYING CARS? BECAUSE OUR SCIENTISTS KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED BY FASCISTS WHO WOULD HAVE THEM MAKE DEBATES ON THE PRONOUNCIATIONS OF OBSOLETE ROMANTIC LANGUAGES AND SYSTEMS WHICH MEASURE HOW HOT SPICES LIKE TABASCO ARE. WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLYING CARS BECAUSE OF TABASCO AND AYN RAND, DAMMIT, DO YOU HEAR ME? IT'S BECAUSE OF AYN RAND WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLYING CARS. WE NEED FLYING CARS. WE CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT FLYING CARS. WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS AND WE WANT FLYING CARS AND WE WANT FLYING CARS RIGHT NOW. RIGHT THIS SECOND. AND IF YOU DON'T GIVE US FLYING CARS RIGHT NOW, THEN WE ARE GOING TO START AN ARMED REBELLION TO FORCE YOU TO GIVE US FLYING CARS, DAMMIT!
We don't have flying cars because of DMan.

No, wait, that's not right.

We don't have flying cars because of Saige.

Hmmm. But then everybody will say I'm unbalanced.

WE DON'T HAVE FLYING CARS BECAUSE OF THE SAIGE-DMAN CONSPIRACY


I hope that settles it.

MUHWAHAHAHAHAHA

Fools! Only DMan and his nefarious partner-in-crime, Saige, are capable of pulling off this evil scheme! We have the prototype in my basement! We pretend we are wrangling but in reality we control the fate of this energy-dependent, luxury-fixative world! Bow before us!

What are you doing, Saige? Why are you pointing that gun at me?

Only one can rule the world eh? Bring it on!

Thus begins the titanic battle for all eternity. Noded for your viewing pleasure!

Here's the deal. It's not that flying cars don't exist... They do! Complete with a VTOL system and a max speed of about 350 MPH... The question is, can the people handle it? The answer is most obviously no. People can't even handle cars that are secured by gravity, no fucking way are they going to be able to handle zooming around 70 feet over the road.

It's sad, but it's a truth we must face.

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