I had
tried to be so kind, I had put in
every effort, it had
ended anyway, with no
reason given. I bit the
bullet. I took it
as best i could. But when i heard
she hooked up with not one, two, three, but four of my good
friends in one night, while i was present, i realized the
futility of believing in
trust. i began to feel it
surging through me. All this being nice, open, and
trustworthy got me nothing. All this niceness had held my
better half down. I began to wonder if i was
restraining the right portions of
myself.
Suddenly those
Tool
lyrics made
so much more sense...
I just
relaxed, and let it
flow, unhindered.
It was unexplainable, but I could feel that
familiar sensation again, the burning
behind my eyes. I knew my
eyes were
wide open, and I had a smug little
grin on. I could feel it
surging through me, every vein filled
with its essence. My
eyes continued to
grow. I could feel the push in the back of my
neck, going down.
something was inside. The
rage, the
anger, the
betrayal, it was all so comfortable. I began to remember what
it felt like to be
alive. Then it began to hit me, it was so obvious. I was
alive here.
I was at home. The
betrayal, the
anger,
fed me. I had never been
more alive. I hadn't felt this much
power in a long time.
But everything else
washed away, i saw nothing but my
goals. The
clearest path was the
only one visible.
yes, i
knew it now.
I was
Alive Again.