I want to fall in love. I want to fall desperately and uncontrollably in love. I want my every breath to be as important to his existence as it is to my own. I want to feel empty inside when he’s not beside me. I want to feel absolutely perfect when his arms are around me. I want to be miserable when he’s unhappy. I want to be ecstatic when his life is going good. I want to be co-dependant. I don’t want to be alone. I want to be loved unconditionally. I want to love someone unconditionally.

This won’t happen until I’m happy the way I am. Nobody's going to fall in love with someone who’s depressed with her place in the world. No one wants someone who’s sad and tired all the time. They all want fun and intelligence. And happiness. I can’t expect someone else to make me happy. I need to be happy first, and then I can be loved the way I long to be loved.

It’s all backwards. All I want to do is cry and have somebody comfort me. But there’s no one here to comfort me. I need someone inside the walls before they get built any higher. But they just keep going up and up. Soon it’ll be too late. Too late for me and my happiness.


i'm perfectly aware of the influence the media and society has had on the way we view love. love isn't something i need to survive, i'm perfectly happy with things the way they are. i just want to feel that blind and foolish passion that some people have. y'know, that force that makes you willing to die for the other... like in the movies.
Somehow our culture has convinced us that falling in love means being absolutely, 100%, ridiculously enraptured with the person we are with.

It is not healthy however to be with someone all the time -- to base your emotions on their's, to feel some sort of obligation to always please them -- and to have them always please you.

It always seems when you are drooling, swooning, insanely in love with someone that nothing can go wrong - but when it does, it seems like your world is going to fall apart.

I'm a romantic, I love love, I love seeing people in love, I love being in love. But love is not in any way synonymous with codependency -- codependency is not love, it's fear of being alone.

It's so much better being on the other side of insane, passionate blind love -- that is not what lasts. What's most important is respect, compassion, knowing that you *truly* love this person because of who they are and not because your brain is raging with improbable romantic ideals - Love is knowing that this may actually be the person that you want to be sitting next to in a rocking chair 50 years down the line.

Love is two people who so wonderful compliment each other - not complete each other.

I want to fall in love. Its such a simple statement, and a very selfish one too. Its nothing to be ashamed of - to admit an emptiness in our own life that we don't know how to fill.

It is difficult to explain the empty feeling that gnaws when walking down the street and seeing a couple kiss, or the valentine's cards - knowing that no one is looking for one for you.

It is an emptiness that makes you feel like you've missed something and leaves you wondering what is it like to hold someone's hand. At what point in history did we make the 'wrong' choice?

There is a security in being alone, not letting anyone close enough to hurt you. Its easy to keep going, occupying your mind until you can't actually feel anything. And yet, once you slow down, it all catches up and hits you like a freight train.

There has to be someone out there... doesn't there?


My apologies to anyone who does not understand this and feels that I have wasted their time. To those who do understand this, my sympathies and sincere wish that one day you shall find that silver cup and drink of it - you never know until you try. I suspect I need to take some of my own advice.

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