I dont mean that metaphorically, or anything. I literally sold my soul on eBay.

Sometime, around late 1999, I was extremely bored, and sitting around looking for things on which to waste my money on eBay. As I was looking through their fine selection of porn, old computers and cool boots, an idea suddenly struck me. I didn't have any useless crap laying around the house that I was willing to part with, but I did have one thing that I could sell. The age-old and eternal currency. My soul. So, I went in, chose the category "Antiques," and started the bidding at a dollar. I emailed a link to a few of my friends, chuckled for a moment at my extreme wit, and went off to do something else.

So, the next day, I decided to check it out, and see how my little auction was coming along. I was quite pleased to see that it had gotten up to the respectable amount of a few hundred dollars. I was quite happy about this, so I went on to brag about it to a few of my co-workers.

That was when things got interesting. After being up for a couple of days, the amount on the auction was getting quite high. I began checking it periodically and obsessively. It was getting into the thousands. Did this many people really want my soul? Were they bidding for real? Or were my friends just messing around? I was never to find out, though, as, shortly after seeing it pass the $10,000 mark, the unthinkable happened. I refreshed the page, and the auction was gone.

After a little while, I got am email from eBay administration. After reading through their explanation and enclosed guidelines, the real kicker is the actual reason they gave for taking it down. eBay does not allow the sale of human organs or bodily fluids. You see, this was shortly after the whole kidney selling fiasco, and that baby selling thing. I had offered a contract as proof of the deal, which was to be, as you'd expect, signed in blood.

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