Yes, I live above a whorehouse. I haven't always - when I moved into my building
downstairs extended no further than the odd burst of loud Playstation
but this was soon to change.
My suspicions were first aroused when the new
tenant of the downstairs flat declared that she worked from home and would be receiving many
visitors. This was because she ran a delivery service, she explained.
When it transpired that the
visitors were exclusively men who
tended to look shifty on entering the building and be adjusting their nether regions on the way out, it
became obvious that she was indeed running a delivery service, of sorts; delivering orgasms to the
those in need.
It does inconvenience my life in some ways, with the constant stream of punters, some
of them mistaking me for the prossie as they run into me on the stairs, but it makes a bloody good
Now, when asked that initial ice-breaking, getting-to-know-you question at
"So, where do you live then?"
"I live above a whorehouse".
The council have written to me informing me that they are taking action to close down the brothel - the prostitutes are being über-subtle, presumably hoping that if I don't see them I will not notice the men lingering outside my front door, or indeed the chinese man who is here everyday with his bicycle to pick up a fresh supply of leaflets with which to decorate local phoneboxes.