a mantra that helps me through the day.

When I lost the person I loved the most I felt like everything good in me had died too. While talking to his spirit I asked him to give me the strength to find my way through these difficult times and I heard him say to me:
I have always been here. I am in you.

It was then that I realized that all the things that I loved about myself, Marty, and life were not lost when he died. They are still here, but they are stronger. Now I do not live my life for me alone. I live it for him as well. Every flower I smell, I smell for him as well. Every bite of his favorite ziti, I taste for him as well. When I sit on the porch, he feels the breeze on his skin, he hears the birds sing and smells the fresh cut grass.

I see the world differently than I did yesterday. The sun is brighter, the air sweeter and my thoughts clearer. I feel the enormous responsibility of experiencing life for two but it comforts me. It makes me feel good to know that even though he is physically not on this earth, he still lives.

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