that there are some easy tactic
s to stealing
bigger things from offices
If you find something like a computer, an external SCSI array, a
router, or maybe a Herman Miller chair appealing, try hiding it
somewhere in your office (assuming you have one, otherwise use a room to
which you have (nearly) unlimited access and can have privacy long
enough to hide something -- and where co-workers won't go
poking around in weird places). Don't hide it where it looks like it's
being hidden, just put it where it could have conceivably been
misplaced. For example: behind one of the file drawers (but still
inside the cabinet); inside one of the boxes that the TVs came in for
the conference room, but are in storage (Does anyone know why they
keep those, anyway? Are they planning on sending the TVs back?).
Leave said item there for two to three weeks. If someone comes looking
for it, then it's something that is needed and will be missed. You
can aid the search and rescue team and be a hero when it is
discovered. On the other hand, if no one comes looking for it and there
are no memos regarding it's absence, it's all yours.
Now it is time to get the item out of the building without being seen or
recorded by any device. Besides hiding the actual removal, you must not
leave any evidence which will tie the time and location of the removal
to your presence. This is the trickiest part of the procedure. Spend
two or three days noting the location and cycle of all automated security
equipment: electronic locks for which you use a personalized swipe/radio card, cameras, infrared
motion detectors, everything. Note that this should be done
upon starting work at any employer, assuming you are a typical
security-conscious paranoid geek (as everyone on E2 ought to
There are two ways that I've theorized are the best to get equipment out
of the office without drawing suspicion. One is to bring a duffel bag
to work, with the claim of "going to the gym" after work. (You had
better have a gym membership and have been to the gym before if you try
this. If you're lucky, no one will want to accompany you to the gym.
This is why it is best to have a gym membership in another town or at a
dirty/broken/otherwise bad gym.) Fill the duffel bag with
newspaper/Styrofoam peanuts/etc in the morning, carry it to work, dump
it out, and move the piece of equipment inside. When you leave, casually
walk out as you usually would. Viola! You have a new toy. (Note that
there are several variants on this, including the "birthday cake for a
surprise party for my spouse/children/mother/dog" and the
"backpack for the hiking trip this weekend that departs before I can go
home and change.")
The other way which makes sense but sometimes is more difficult
depending on security options at your place of employment is the "work on
Saturday" option. It is important that you only use this maneuver if
your offices are closed on the weekend but employees are still allowed to
work if they so chose. Come in to work (make sure you have a task you
can work on for a justifiable length of time) and when it is time to
leave, pick up the unit and walk out the door (using a pre-selected path
with minimum exposure to security devices). This can sometimes be
combined with the previous item (e.g. place the item in a duffel bag).
If there are other employees at work on this optional day, abort
immediately and save the retrieval for another weekend (or
late that evening when the other employee(s) leave).
You must practice your poker face and your casual walk for this procedure to work. It is not for
the feint of heart nor those who buckle under
pressure (as there are many opportunities for confrontation which could
potentially lead to big trouble as described in the other write-ups).
A well-thought-out and rehearsed plan is the only way for stealing
large things from work to be successfully accomplished. This
guide only suggests things to take into consideration and is by no means
complete nor is it authoritative.
Please note that I certainly have never
tried1 any of these, and do not
recommend that you do. If you get caught doing anything here, you are the
one who is responsible.