So, you want to make the perfect Burrito huh? Making the perfect Burrito may seem like a daunting task, but it is in fact very simple and easy to make THE ultimate Burrito.


Start off by taking two LARGE flour tortillas. Next, take a steamer and take the metal dick in the middle of it off by yanking it out. Then, take a small pot, fill it up with water, and put the castrated steamer on top of the watered pot. Then, put it on a burner and set it to high heat. Boil the water in the pot with the steamer on top of it. Then, fold both the large tortillas up and put them on the steamer and close the steamer up.

Once your tortillas are perfectly steamed, take them out and wrap them in foil to keep them hot. Then, take some ribeye steak, cut it up and put it in a oiled pan set to medium heat. Add some salt, cilantro, chopped white onion, lime juice, and tabasco sauce into the steak. Then, once the steak is cooked medium rare, pour it out onto some foil. Next, take some cooked white rice and pour it into the oiled pan, cook it on the medium heat. Then, take some hot salsa (I like Pace Picante, but any hot salsa will do), and pour it into the rice. Then, add olive oil, salt, cilantro, chopped WHITE onion, LOTS OF GARLIC, lime juice, and finely chopped chipotle peppers to the rice. Mix well with the rice, and cook until it's piping hot. Then, pour the rice onto some foil.

Then, take a can of Pinto Beans and pour it into the oiled pan. Add salt, cilantro and lime juice to the beans. Cook until piping hot. Then, pour the beans onto some foil. Next, take some Monterey Jack Cheese cut up into cubes and throw them into the oiled pan. Add lots of canola oil to the pan to melt the cheese. Once the cheese is all melted, turn the heat off. Then, take a LONG sheet of Foil and place one of tortillas onto it.

Next, put the rice onto the Tortilla, then the Beans, then the Steak, then put some Salsa then some Gucamole, then the Cheese then some Sour Cream (optional) then some Iceberg Lettuce (optional) then some chopped Chipotle peppers (optional, but highly recommended). Then, wrap the filled Tortilla up and then place the other Tortilla on it and wrap it and tuck it underneath nice and TIGHT. Then, tuck in the sides nice and Tight. Then, wrap the Burrito into the Foil very tightly. Serve immediately.


Notes: This is how they make Burritos in Southern California. I learned this way of making a Burrito from a friend in Los Angeles.

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