After eating a thoroughly healthy lunch consisting of biscotti and bottled water, we (me and 5 others) decided to go watch Disturbed, and get to a good position so that we could watch Kittie (who was after Disturbed).

As we stood there at the second stage, the wonderful Pittsburgh skies turned black and it began to pour rain. I'm not talkin' water-your-grass rain either. We had big fat rain that seemed like hail had just melted 5 seconds before it hit us. Of course this only heighted the concert experience. Disturbed was kinda wary about playing in the rain (which I don't understand: little kids do it all the time), so the seething masses began to chant, "FUCKIN' PLAY!" and other choice phrases. After about 10 minutes, they stopped being pansies and rocked out an amazing set. The mosh pit was nice and rough, with gravel flying and people getting body piercings ripped out(I saw a nice eyebrow ring ripped out in front of me. Ow.).

After the quite amazing set (as I haven't heard Disturbed before then, I was impressed), we pushed and squeezed our way up to the 3rd row of people in front of the gate.

The hormones and Jack Daniels were in full effect. This combination in an impatient crowd waiting to see an all-girl metal band, was quite a bad one. Chants of, "Show your tits!" and various groping was had. One chick who was standing a few people down from me tried to get the feminist contingent to chant, "Show your dicks!", but that didn't catch on. There was no one on stage, and the unwashed masses behind us were pushing hard enough to crack a rib. All the while, the concert thought it might be a good idea to blare some Barry Manilow-type shit to calm us down. That only got people more pissed off than they already were.

So Kittie comes on stage. I hardly got to look at them because I was facing the crowd trying to defend myself from spike-garnered, steel-toed boot wearing crowd surfer fucks. People were getting lifted out of the pit because they passed out and other kinds of nonsense. This pit was getting really rough. I knew when it was getting rough when the 300 pound bodybuilder infront of me decided to get out.

Fearing for my personal safety, I jumped over a row of people to tap the bouncer on the shoulder. He told me that he couldn't just pull me out because my legs were below the fence. So, I told the people behind me to put me up. They did not seem to comprehend. Before I could tell them again, the bouncer started pulling my arm. "WHOA SHIT!" After pulling for a minute, I ended up bent at the waist over the fence, with my legs wedged between dumb, sweaty assholes. He kept pulling, and I started to lose my pants, so I kept tugging on my belt loop so that I didn't loose my pants. In the process, he yanked me over the fence. My shoes, however were somewhere on the other side.

For the rest of the day, I walked around in wet gravel and muddy grass in just my socks. Yeah, I got people pointing at my feet and yelling, "Oh man, that sucks!". And it did suck. It was funny though. Now I have a concert story to tell my children whenever they ask if I was ever cool. Yeah.

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