Vampiric Refreshment: This unholy concoction almost rivals the taste of Phish Food (described elsewhere as "An orgasm in your mouth"), and can be useful as stage makeup or makes a convincing "Glass of Wine".
  • Mix 5 tablespoons Corn Starch with 1/3 cup Water
  • Add 2/3 cup High Fructose Corn Syrup and Mix Well
  • Add 3 tsp Red Food Coloring, then Green to Take Pink Edge Off
  • Add More Red, Balance with Green until proper shade (very dark, brownish).
  • Add 1 Drop Qualactin Hypermint Extract (or regular Peppermint Extract, if desired)


Beneath the Bright Light: This unholy concotion looks deceptive under a bright light, and has the eerie viscosity of thick blood.
Gory Gertrude's Secret: When needed, cackle with insane glee and spoon it around to satisfy the 'gore' effect. This blood mimics great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts, but doesn't puddle out like water.
  • Mix 2/3 cup Oriental 'Cherry' Dipping Sauce with 1/3 cup water.
  • Add 1/2 teaspoon Red Food Coloring and 2-3 drops Green
  • Stir Thoroughly and Let Sit In The Office Fridge


Warning... all mixes may permanently stain.

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