Harry doesn't know how long it will take to wash the sticky cream cake off his face. For a healthy, civilized young man it is disgusting to have filthy dirt on any part of his body. Lying in a luxurious bathtub and rubbing his face with his hands, he thinks about Dudley's face, which is as fat as Aunt Petunia's bottom.

Thus begins the fifth installment in the Harry Potter series. In China that is, where a fake Harry Potter book is selling like hotcakes on the streets of Beijing. Apparently some enterprising Chinese author decided that J.K. Rowling was taking too long to write the fifth Potter book, and decided to write his or her own.

The 198-page book sells for about $1 and is a remarkably detailed forgery. The cover depicts Harry in black robes riding a satyr and battling a dragon and features a picture of Rowling and the name of Rowling's authentic Chinese publisher. The title page credits the translators who actually translated the first four novels, and each chapter begins with a cartoon, as in the real books. There is even a spurious dedication to the owner of a house in Edinburgh, Scotland, where Rowling lives, and to the owner's 3-year-old granddaughter.

The book draws its title from the mysterious villain who deprives Harry of his powers and turns him into a fat, hairy dwarf. Somehow, Harry must overcome his lack of powers to defeat evil dragons. Many of the characters from the real Rowling books appear in the pirate version, including the Dursleys, Harry's friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, and his archrival, Draco Malfoy.

Ha-li Bo-tay lives!

sources: reports by AP, Reuters

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